NaNoWriMo 2011: M2F (Part Two)

2011-11-28T20:43:00.001-06:00

“So…you want to talk about?”

“No, Jack, I don’t want to talk about it,” Taylor was putting books away in the library as part of her TA job. It was a nice way to break up the day. Jack had the same period as a study hall and was frequently in to bother her. However, being Monday after prom, it had quickly circled that the new couple was the most recent to break up as well. The spreading had started when Tucker didn’t appear to help with clean up, and Taylor had been forced to explain that they’d broken up.

“C’mon,” he pleaded. “You two were so cute together! I don’t understand what happened. You should explain it to me,” he stretched out over the top of one of the chest-high shelves, peering at her hopefully.

“Nothing happened,” she shook her head. “It just wasn’t going to work, so I ended it before it could go too far.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her.

She sighed, slapping the books down on top of the shelf, “He said that if I changed my mind about being…you know,” she motioned downward, “that he’d come out with me.”

“So?”

“I don’t want him to follow in my shadow; he should be his own person. Support is nice, but…augh,” she sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“So…feel free to ignore me if this is too early, but…maybe you’d like to get coffee with me sometime?” He asked.

“Jack, really?”

“As friends,” he declared. “For now.”

“What about Conrad?”

“What about Conrad? It was never going to work out; we’re not some crazy fairy tale romance. It would have been nice if it had, but…we want different things. We’re friends, that’s all we’ll ever be. But, you…you and me, we could be good.”

She tilted her head, “I don’t want to hurt Tucker; we only broke up like two days ago.”

“Then it’ll just be between us –c’mon, we’ll go to Lollytarts in Kenneth. They have the best strawberry pie you’ve ever tasted. If we don’t have fun, we’ll just say it was an outing as friends, and that’ll be it. I won’t bring it up, ever again.”

She pursed her lips, before finally nodding, “All right. Fine.”

“After school? I’ll meet you by your locker?”

“Sure,” she nodded.

“I’ll see you then,” he popped up over the shelf and gave her a peck on the cheek with a big grin. “I can’t wait.”

She couldn’t help but smile as he left the library, an extra spring in his step.

She should have known her own joy wouldn’t last long. The last class of the day, Tucker stopped at the edge of her desk. She looked up at him, questioning. He started to say something, then closed his mouth and shook his head. His hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket as he slid into his seat. She bit the inside of her lip. He hadn’t said it, but she just knew that somehow, someone had told him about getting a drink with Jack. She tried to brush it off; he wasn’t man enough to ask her up front about it, than he didn’t deserve an answer.

After a class of feeling him stare daggers into the back of her head, she took her time getting her things together. Tucker seemed to share the scentiment because he was right behind her as they exited the class room.

“Taylor, can I talk to you for a second?” He asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. The warm from the simple touch seemed to race down her back and she closed her eyes for a second before turning to face him.

“Yes, Tucker?”

“Is it true?”

“What?” She asked.

“You’re going out with Jack now?”

“Of course not, he asked if I wanted to go get something to drink with him after school. He’s got a craving for Strawberry Pie or something.”

“He likes you, of course it’s a date, Taylor.”

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business,” she shrugged. “You’re not my boyfriend.”

“If you go out with him, everyone is going to know about you.” He whispered.

She shrugged again, “I think I’m okay with that. I mean, I don’t have to make a big announcement about it. I can if you want. Maybe Principal Keene will put it on the morning announcements or something, but that seems like it’s a little extreme. Oh, maybe the Clinton Gazette would post it.” She tapped her finger to her lips, “Although, not everyone reads that…”

“Knock it off,” he sighed. “Did you break up with me to go out with Jack? He was all over you at the dance.”

“He was not! We were friends! We played a few games, danced –I was with you the whole time. I barely even noticed him. I tried to get him back together with Conrad!”

“Taylor,” he rubbed his nose, annoyed. “I don’t want to act like the jealous ex-boyfriend, but…he wants something else from you.”

“We’re just getting coffee,” she patted him on the shoulder. “We’re not getting married or something. Now…he’s probably waiting for me, so I’ll see you around.”

It kind of hurt her to treat him like he was an idiot, but it seemed like the surest way to get her point across. She was necessarily interested in Jack. Sure, he was cute, but he wasn’t the only boy around school. Besides, everyone knew he was gay. Seeing him out with a girl wasn’t going to start the rumor mill going. Hopefully. Besides, so what if it did? She looked down at herself. She liked what she saw; fairly generic girl…possibly closer to androgyny…she wasn’t sure she had been feeling particularly female that morning, but it was comfortable. A simple regular t-shirt, a pair of good fitting jeans, her hair down around her shoulders, and a pair of bright pink Chuck Taylor sneakers made up her ensemble.

“Hey,” Jack smiled at her from her locker. “Did you get held up?”

“Tucker wanted to talk,” she said, opening her locker. She swapped out books in her backpack and swung it over her shoulder before closing the locker again. “He’s mad that we’re going out.”

“Well,” he stared over her shoulder for a moment. “Why don’t we give him something to be really mad about then?” He gave her a smile.

“He’s right behind us, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he is and he’s watching with a very interested stare.”

She nodded, reaching up to brush her fingers over his hair above his ear, “You look cute today, Jack. Did I tell you that?”

“No, but it’s always a pleasure to hear,” he agreed.

She leaned forward, pressing her lips lightly to his. He was on board; not hesitating at all to return the kiss. He snaked an arm around her waist, and she found that…she actually really enjoyed kissing Jack. He smelled good; clean but not wearing any obvious cologne. His lips were soft, and his body was lithe; similar to her own in a way that made them seem to link together well, but in a different way than she and Tucker had. The kiss went on longer than either of them had expected –only broken up when hands literally pulled them apart.

“Not. Funny.” Conrad looked livid. “I don’t know what you two think you’re doing but take it some where else. This is a school. If I wanted to watch a tranny and a twink making out, I’d watch more porn.”

“Keep your voice down,” Jack warned.

“I’m sorry, Conrad, we weren’t trying to upset you,” Taylor explained. She gave a short nod over her shoulder. “Just trying to make a point.”

“I know what you were trying to do, and it was low and dirty --regardless of who it was supposed to hurt,” Conrad retorted. “I would have expected better out of both of you; what are you –thirteen?”

“I’m sorry,” Taylor repeated.

“No you aren’t, and that’s the worst part,” Conrad’s gaze shifted to Jack. “How could you? I thought you really cared about me –about us. And then you just go right after her the minute you hear she’s available again? I hope you’re both very happy together. Because you’re both backstabbing bitches.” Conrad slapped his palm against the neighboring locker before pushing away and stomping off to who-knows where.

“Well…that was interesting,” Jack bit his lip.

“…Maybe that drink isn’t a good idea,” Taylor brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I mean, not right now. Let them cool off for a little while.”

“Taylor,” Jack sighed, looking straight at her, “I’ve liked you for awhile. Sure, it started as a little crush, and I was happy with Conrad; I had no intention of pursuing you at all…and then he found out about the crush, and you came out to us…I was excited,” he admitted. “Excited that finally, there was someone who wasn’t quite so…uniform to the whole gay thing. Maybe that’s why I like you; you’re different, and you seem so sure of yourself and who you are and what you want…I wish I could be that confident all the time.”

She shook her head, “Jack, I have no idea what I want. That’s part of why I told Tucker we couldn’t be together. I just…I’m so sick of tags and lables. I just want to be a person.”

“And I’m totally for that,” he said. “I don’t care how you look or dress. You’re smart, funny, and you have the cutest smile. Please, let me show you a good time?” He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. “Please? I can promise ice cream and cherries.”

Try as she might to resist, she couldn’t hold back the smile before she finally nodded, “All right, find. Lollytarts it is.”

He grinned and took the initiative to kiss her once more –much more brief this time, “Excellent. Follow me, m’lady, and I will show you the time of your life.”

“Promise?” She raised an eyebrow, letting him take her by the elbow.

“Promise,” he nodded.

They walked past Tucker who hadn’t missed a moment of the exchange –including Conrad’s drama. But neither gave him a second glance as they headed outside toward Jack’s car on their way to Lollytarts –the promise of sweet eats and perhaps a sweeter ending for their day than it had begun.

“We need to talk,” Tucker slapped Conrad’s locker closed, narrowly missing the boys fingers. “Now.”

“What’s the matter, Tucker?” Conrad asked, sucking on the tip of a nipped index finger. “Boxers in a bunch?”

“Our exes.”

“Yes, what about them?” Conrad tried his best to look uninterested and failed spectacularly.

“We have to do something. You want Conrad back, don’t you?”

“Frankly, Jack’s desire to fornicate with genderqueer individuals has kind of put me off him, to be honest,” Conrad gave a slight cringe. “Don’t get me wrong –I adore Taylor; she’s become quite a good friend over the last couple of months. But…Jack’s newfound pansexuality is a little much for little old gay me to handle.”

“Conrad, stop being an asshole. Do you like him or not?”

“I love him,” Conrad finally looked up at him. “But it’s not meant to be, so I’m letting go. Maybe you should do the same for Taylor? They’re obviously quite pleased with one another.”

“Look, the only reason we broke up was because…I was making too big of a deal out of her being a him,” Tucker sighed. “I realize now that if I’d just treated her the same as any other person, we would have just been fine.”

“Tucker,” Conrad shook his head, “You didn’t do anything wrong. Dating a transgender person is very different from dating a cisgender person.”

“Cisgender?”

“A genetic female or a genetic male,” Conrad stated.

“Why are there suddenly all these different tags for people? Why can’t girls just be girls, boys are boys. Who the hell sits and thinks up all of theses different terms for things?”

“I wish I knew,” Conrad patted him on the shoulder. “I’d love to him a good swift kick in the balls.”

“…Why Conrad, I believe that’s the first manly thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Tucker pressed a hand to his chest in astonishment.

“Oh damn, I better say something really gay to make up for it,” Conrad tapped his chin. “Umm…those boots make your ass look huge.”

“What?” Tucker instinctively turned to see if what he’d said was true, then caught himself. “Goddamn it, Conrad.”

Conrad laughed; the first time he’d felt like he’d done so for awhile. “I’m sorry –but really, I’m trying my best to get over Jack, so…I can’t help you. If he wants to fool around with Taylor, that’s their business.”

“Christ, you really think they’re really fooling around?”

Conrad tilted his head a bit to the side, analyzing him, “Well, it has only been a few days, so…maybe not, but it’s inevitable, isn’t it?”

“Not possible,” Tucker shook his head. “We never did. I mean, prom night, it came close, but we stopped. She’s not ready.”

Conrad gave a slow shrug of his shoulder, “Well, that was with you…that doesn’t mean she’ll feel the same way when she’s with Jack.”

“You’re not being at all helpful right now.”

“I never said I would be. I’m just honest,” Conrad hugged his books to his chest. “Now, if I don’t get going now, I’m going to be late for class. You’ll have to figure out your dilemma on your own.”

Tucker pursed his lips, watching Conrad walk away with that annoying little sway in his hips. He shoved his hands into his jean pockets, feeling most lost than he had when the conversation had started. He’d hoped that by half-reverting to his previous bully-mentality, what with the locker slam and all, he could coax Conrad into being more receptive. Apparently that wasn’t going to work. …Well, maybe it was time for a Bully Named Tucker to return to the party.

And with that personal declaration, he turned and slapped the books out of the hands of a passing foreign exchange student, who looked surprised and immediately bent to retrieve them.

“What’s wrong, Tucker?” Miss Wilson had that young naïve charm of someone only a few years out of college. She still thought that every kid that something inside them to be a good person. She dealt with the most heinous delinquent with the same calm charm as she did the stressed-out overachievers. She tried to keep a “fresh” and “unique” look, with simple t-shirts that had hand embroidery on them, and dress slacks or jeans. She wore canvas shoes when she wasn’t wearing Birkenstocks, and her hair was pulled back into a bun, with several pens, pencils, and even occasionally she’d stick silverware or the odd compass like you used to make circles in math class. Tucker had spent a lot of time in her office over the last year or so, but since making the conscious effort to “be a better person”, he hadn’t seen her.

“Nothing’s wrong; I don’t even know why I’m here.” He slouched in his usual chair. It was a comfy little chaise lounge in a creamy cotton fabric. He picked at the arm rest. There was a loose thread he’d been working on for awhile, and it was still there even after the two month absence.

“You know why you’re here,” she said calmly.

“Look, I’ve just been having a bad week,” he couldn’t bring himself to look at her. The thread pulled tight as he picked, picked, picked.

“Week? Tucker, you’ve been doing so well! I haven’t had any complaints about your behavior in almost two months,” she opened his file on her desk, looking over it. “Just over the course of today, I’ve had two people tell me you slammed their lockers closed –you almost broke Melanie Douglass’ fingers.” She shook her head, “Then there’s been at least six complaints about you throwing people’s books on the ground, and Kevin Kirk’s English paper ended up in the boys’ toilet.” She looked up at him. “That’s just the beginning. Over turning trash cans, yelling at people, shoving, and disruptive behavior in class…”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged. “I’m not some goody-two-shoes.”

“Tucker, you’re a very nice boy. I know you are. Is this about Taylor?”

“I don’t want to talk about Taylor,” he grumbled.

“I know that Taylor’s situation may have come as a surprise to you, but she’s still the same person you thought you liked. Even if you don’t want to date her, she’ll still—”

“What are you talking about? Are you talking about the transgender thing, because I’ve known about that for awhile,” Tucker looked confused. “I already got over that.”

Miss Wilson was at a sudden lost. “Well…then what’s the problem?”

“My problem, Miss Wilson, is that she dumped me because she thought I was coddling her or something. She said she wasn’t ready for a real relationship because she didn’t know what she wanted –and then on Monday; two fucking days later, she’s going out with Jack! Jack! Who is just using her because Conrad is being a total tool, but he apparently has some ‘thing’ for trannies, so they’re all over each other.”

She frowned. “Can I be honest, Tucker?”

He waved a hand in motion for her to go on ahead.

“I’m confused…I think I need to map this out.” She pulled a sheet of paper from her printer and a pen out of the array in her hair. “Okay, so here’s you and here’s Taylor,” she scribbled their names into circles in the middle. “Now, start from the beginning.”

“Well, okay,” he straightened. “Conrad and Jack –you might as well give them circles too, broke up like a month ago. Margo and I were dating, but she found out that I had a crush on Taylor, so she asked her out for me –even though I told her not to.” He watched Miss Wilson scribble down Margo’s name as well, and lines to both him and Taylor. “So, we went out and it was a good date. I told Margo it was over, ‘cause we had a really clicked, you know?”

“Okay, I get it,” she nodded. “Go on.”

“So, we started going out. Then, Conrad called an emergency meeting for GSA to deal with Anti-Prom, even though he really just wanted to talk about him and Jack breaking up –which he did. We found it that it was because, in one way or another, because Jack had a crush on Taylor –but then she told everyone at the meeting about being trans, and I may have admittedly freaked out a little bit –but Jack told me to go for it.”

“So you started dating Taylor,” she filled in. “Then what happened?”

“Well, I told Jack to try and make up with Conrad, but apparently didn’t go very well. We had a great time at prom, and we went back to my place and things were going really well. But she started talking about how sometimes she wasn’t sure if being a girl was really what she wanted either –and…I don’t know,” he shook his head. “I told her that I’d stand by her, no matter what kind of decisions she decided to make. And that if it meant coming out if she decided to go back to being a boy, then…so be it. She must have taken it the wrong way, because after I took her home, she said that she didn’t think it was a good idea if we dated any more.” H took a breath, “Then, Monday, I hear around that she’s going out with Jack. Well, after class, I tried to tell her that it wasn’t a good idea, and that she was –frankly, being kind of a bitch. She just told me it wasn’t any of my business. A few minutes later, I see them kissing in the hall –right in front of me and Conrad. Well, Conrad pulled them apart, and I couldn’t hear what he said to them, but he looked totally pissed.”

‘Uh huh, uh huh. Is that all.”

“Basically,” he agreed.

“Hmm,” she looked over her little graph, then crumpled it up and tossed it into the trash can. “So, where does you reverting back into a general menace to society fall into all of this?”

He sighed, “I’m sorry –and I’ll apologize to everyone I harassed today.”

“As well you should,” she agreed, “but you didn’t answer the question.”

“I’m just mad, Miss Wilson. Can’t a guy just be mad once in awhile?”

“Sure, as long as he takes out the anger in a less aggressive and harmful way,” she nodded. “Next time you feel provoked, try…counting to ten, or taking a walk. Go to the weight room and lift. Run around the track. Do something productive.” She folded her hands very seriously on top of his file and leaned forward. “You’re a good kid, Tucker. Don’t let the drama of high school turn you into a different person.”

“Thanks Miss Wilson. I think.”

She smiled and stuck her pen back into the sundry of her hair, “Well, is there anything else you want to talk about? Need to get something off your chest?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure?” She pressed. “I mean, your girlfriend was your boyfriend…”

He rolled his eyes, “I already know I’m gay, Miss Wilson. I just don’t want to make a big statement about it, okay? It’s high school; only the ones who can’t hide it come out in high school.”

She tilted her head, “Is that what you think?”

“Isn’t it true? Conrad couldn’t hide it if he tried. Jack probably could if he’d wear pants that actually went down past his ankles –and what is with those bowties he’s so fond of lately? And don’t get me started on Bailey; we all know she’s in GSA only to stare at girls in their leotards.”

She hummed with a little nod, “Well, Tucker, I’m glad you’ve decided to accept that about yourself. You’ve been much happier over the last couple of months. I hope this progress continues and that this little…stint, hasn’t set you back.”

“I’m fine,” he replied. “Can I go now?”

She paused, then nodded, “I suppose, but please remember –my door is always open to students in need.”

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind,” he nodded making a secret vow to never step into her office unless he actually had to. He opened the door and nearly walked square into Taylor, who had her hand raised to knock.

“T-tucker,” she stammered. “Hi.”

He grunted, his foul mood suddenly returning. He jostled her a little roughly as he slid past. She grunted, folding her arms across her chest.

“Ow –excuse you!” She called after him.

“Don’t mind him, Taylor,” Miss Wilson had gotten up to usher her inside. She closed the door behind them as they walked away. “Tucker is dealing with some things today. How about we continue our talk from last week, hmm?”

Taylor sighed, rubbing her arm, “Here’s the thing Miss Wilson, I’m not really sure I need to keep coming here. I mean, I know it’s part of my terms of transitioning while I’m in high school, but…” she sighed. “Seriously, I’m kind of over talking about my feelings and whatever.”

“Then lets talk about something else,” Miss Wilson suggested. “What’s the drama on campus this week?”

Taylor pursed her lips, “I’m not really sure what you mean.”

“What’s been going on?” She pressed, “New couples, couples breaking up, hot dates, parties…who dissed who?”

“Um, okay, this is twenty-eleven, not nineteen-ninety-five,” Taylor furrowed a brow. “I don’t really care what anyone in this school is doing.”

“All right…so, how was your prom?”

“Fine,” she shrugged. “I went with Tucker. It was fun; I had a very nice time.”

“But you still broke up with him afterwards?”

‘Look, he just…I don’t know; he’s not open with himself yet, and I can’t hid with someone. I don’t know what I want or who I am. I can’t hold in two people’s secrets. If I want to come to school one day as a boy, I’m going to come to school as a boy –and if he isn’t okay with who he is and what that’s going to mean for him, then I just can’t do it.”

“But he said he’d come out with you.”

“No, he’d come out for me,” she explained. “That’s not the same thing –he should do it for himself. And why does there even have to be some big ‘coming out’ thing. Who decided that? It’s just bullshit. I never had to come out to my parents; they just knew. I brought a boy home as my boyfriend and it was fine.”

“Your parents aren’t the same as most parents,” Miss Wilson started to say.

“You’re right they aren’t. My Dad is awesome; he’s understanding and cooperative, and he just wants me to be happy. My mother is trying to dictate my feelings, which puts her just below Maleficent on the Evil Scale.”

“Was that a Disney reference?”

“—I’m really sick of her not understanding that I am not her son. Maybe I’m not her daughter either, but does she have to rub it in so much that I’m not her little boy any more? I mean she’s always saying him or he and calling me Jon or Jonathan. No one calls me that!”

“Have you decided whether you’re going to tell any of the rest of your family yet?” Miss Wilson asked.

“I suppose I should,” she sighed. “It just seems so…final. I’m still trying to figure out this thing, and I just don’t…gah, I don’t want to deal with it. I just want to live my life.”

“I get that,” she nodded. “And I totally agree: labels are stupid. So, you know what –this is a label free zone. Words like transgender, boy, girl, gay, straight, bi…they don’t exist here,” she drew a big circle and an X in the air with her finger. “It’s just Karrie and Taylor –two people hanging out in an office, talking.”

“Right,” Taylor nodded. “As hunky-dorky as that sounds, I just really don’t feel like talking today. Can we like, reschedule or something?”

Miss Wilson sighed, feeling defeat, “All right, fine, we’ll postpone until next week. But! Since we’re closing early this week, I have a little homework assignment for you.”

“And assignment?” she asked doubtfully.

“Yep,” Miss Wilson nodded, looking a bit proud of herself. “I want you tell someone about yourself that you’d never considering telling.”

“Oh. I don’t know, Miss Wilson,” she shook her head. “I mean, what if I figure out that this is just some kind of a phase?”

“Then you’ll laugh it off later,” she shrugged.

“I don’t make any promises,” Taylor got up from the chair. “But, I’ll think about it, okay?”

Miss Wilson gave her an acknowledging nod and waved her towards the door, “All right, I suppose that’s all I can ask.”

Jack’s house always seemed rather empty and quiet. Over the last week or so, he and Taylor had opted to go there after school. His room was painted a rich burgundy color with white trim. Most of the furniture was white as well, except for the oak desk and the black bedding. For the most part, they kept things rather tame –talking, dancing to his stereo, doing homework, and okay, so quite a bit of kissing as well. Ever since the first time in the hallway, it just got better and better.

“You’re so intoxicating,” Jack mused. They’d ended up in a very provocative position, with Taylor underneath, and Jack on top. He’d shifted slightly to the side, but kept her pinned tightly against him.

“Thanks, I think.”

“It’s a compliment,” he assured her. “Although, I still can’t help but feel a little bad about…you know, the guys.”

“I know,” she sighed. “But I didn’t think I’d enjoy this as much as I do.” She felt cheesy just stating it like that. “Bah, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do,” he sighed. He turned off of her and stretched into the covers and pillows. His fingers found hers as he turned his head away and he clasped them tightly together. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” she squeezed his hand in a reassuring manner.

“Do you miss Tucker?”

“Sort of,” she shrugged. “I liked being with him, when we were alone, but when we were around other people, I was always afraid that he was nervous to be out with me, especially after he found out. You’re not like that.”

“Why would I be nervous?” He grinned, turning to look her in the eye. “Little Jon is my second favorite part of you.”

“Second favorite?” She questioned.

“Your lips are first,” he explained, leaning forward to kiss her again.

“Smooth, Jack, very smooth,” she commended, leaning up just a little bit to reach the kiss. The passion was renewed and he slid over top f her again, reaching up underneath the hem of her t-shirt. He didn’t go far, but every time he explored the sinewy muscles that she hid under her loose t-shirts, he found himself itching to go higher, but he kept himself in check.

“Can I ask you another question?” He asked.

“You’re just full of questions tonight, aren’t you?”

“You and Tucker, did you ever…you know?” He rolled his eyes and waved a hand a bit.

“Have sex?” She filled in.

“Yeah.”

“Me and Tucker, no. Why?”

“But you have…right?”

She gave a slow nod, “Sure…why?”

“Just curious,” he shrugged. “I don’t want to enter into forbidden territory too early or something.”

“Jack,” she leaned up on her elbows. “You’ve already gotten further on pure lust than Tucker would ever let himself go.”

“Really?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “And…my ex-boyfriend, Sam, well…I haven’t seen him in almost a year. So, you can imagine how frustrating it is to go from having sex pretty regularly to absolutely none at all. It’s a wonder your second favorite part of me has managed to stay in place so long.”

“Well,” he looked down, and his fingers started to slide down to the hem of her skirt. “Maybe we should let it out.”

“Are you sure you want to go that far?” She asked.

“I’m a teenage boy; of course I do.”

“Ah, right,” she nodded in agreement. She sat up, pulling her knees out from between Jack’s and kneeling in front of him.

“Do you want to?” He asked.

“Part of me says yes and part of me says no,” she shrugged.

“And which part do you want to listen to more?” He asked.

“Did you ever do it with Conrad?” She asked, bluntly and without warning. He was caught a little surprised. Finally he managed to give a slight nod.

“We fooled around,” he finally said.

“I just don’t want to be your first,” she shook her head.

“We only go as far as you want,” he promised, kissing her. “Just tell me what you want –and I’ll do it.”

She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. He listened intently then gave a brief nod.

“That’s exactly what I had in mind,” he nodded. He touched her thighs, sliding underneath the hem for the first time. He found her panties and tugged gently as she rose up to wrap her arms around his neck. She groaned a little against his neck as he started to pull them free of her hips, and he slid her back to draw them the rest of the way down. He tossed them aside and Taylor’s appendage slipped free of its confinement. She gave a little sigh as he wrapped a fist around it and leaned into her. His mouth pressed against her neck as he started stroking in fluid tugs.

Taylor’s eyes squeezed shut. It had been far too long since the last time she’d…he’d been touched. The importance of being a girl melted away. The falsies felt heavy and awkward. The skirt barely felt like it was there at all and he felt naked from the waist down.

“Good?” Jack whispered.

“Oh yes,” Taylor nodded. “Can I…” he reached to pull open Jack’s jeans.

“God yes,” Jack agreed. He let go long enough to draw his t-shirt over his head and shimmy his jeans over his hips. He tossed them aside in a fluid motion. Taylor pushed him back, not thinking twice about reaching inside of his partner’s trunks. He sighed, the excitement of being so close rushing back.

They fumbled together, kissing and stroking.

“Ahh—close,” Jack warned.

“Me too,” Taylor nodded.

“Umm…” Jack’s breath was heavy and he pitched forward. They leaned into one another, stroking feverishly until Jack’s breath pitched and he turned his face into Taylor’s neck. Moments later, Taylor followed, squeezing his eye closed he peaked.

Their breathing slowed as they leaned into one another until they finally started to move apart.

“We made kind of a mess,” Jack looked down between them. “Oh, man, it got all over your skirt; I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he shook his head. “Totally worth it, Jack.” He pulled Jack in for a kiss, hard and yearning. It had been good, being that close to someone again. Giving-and-receiving of the pitch and fall of orgasm had been missed more than he realized and he craved more, even though he was totally spent for the time being.

“Let’s go get cleaned up,” he kissed back. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see you completely naked.”

Taylor nodded, “Okay. Let’s do it.”

The last day of school came up more quickly than anyone had expected. GSA was celebrating with a little party instead of their regular meeting. Conrad had arranged for pizza to be delivered and there was root beer, among other drinks. Thom put an on new iPod playlist, and the desks of the class room were pushed aside for a mingling and dance floor.

“I hate that I’m leaving next week,” Jack his arms over Taylor’s shoulders. “I was looking forward to camp all year, and now…I just have to leave you, when it’s starting to get good,” He nuzzled Taylor’s neck.

“It’ll be fine,” Taylor assured him. “Besides, maybe there will be cute boys to fill your time while you’re away.”

“Hmm,” he shook his head. “Even if there are, I’ll only spend all my time thinking about you,” he assured her.

“Okay, you two are far too close together,” Conrad touched their shoulders. “Public, okay.”

“Sorry Conrad,” they chimed, taking almost a full step back from one another. They watched him walk away before closing the gap again.

“You want to get out of here?” Jack asked.

“Do you even have to ask that?”

“Let’s go then,” he nodded over his shoulder towards the door. “My parents are at work for at least a couple more hours. We can go there.”

“Lead the way then,” she beckoned.

As the two left, Conrad made his way to Tucker, who was trying to look nonchalant, stuffing his face with chips.

“I don’t like the two of them together,” Conrad said.

“Yeah, well, there isn’t a whole heck of a lot we can do about it, now is there?”

“Well,” Conrad shifted his gaze over. “Jack is leaving on Friday for summer camp.”

“Seriously, summer camp at seventeen?”

“He’s been going since he was eight; I don’t ask questions,” Conrad waved a hand. “Anyway, he’s leaving which means that Taylor is going to be alone all summer.”

“So?”

“So…” For the first time in possibly his entire life, Conrad had a sort of devious air about him. “Maybe it’s time that you made up with her. –Friends. If she still has feelings for you, it won’t take long before she’s all hot and bothered for you again.”

“And what about Jack? He’s my friend,” Tucker reminded him. “I know we’ve been dicks to each other lately, but I don’t want him caught in any crossfire.”

“You let me worry about Jack,” Conrad appeased, clasping his hands in what shouldn’t have been, but was a scheming manner. “I will take good care of Jack.”

Tucker frowned, but wasn’t in any position to argue. Conrad had been the first person he’d gone to after what he’d come to think of as the Prom Debacle a few weeks before. Sure, it had apparently taken him a little bit to fire up the ovens, but he seemed to be back on board with the anti-Jack/Taylor plan.

“All right,” Tucker nodded. “I’ll give her a call after Jack leaves.”

“No,” Conrad shook his head. “Do it tonight –if you wait, it’ll seem like you were just waiting it out. Ask if the two of them want to go to Tealeaves –if you pin them as a group first, then it won’t seem as suspicious later when you went to spend time with Taylor alone.”

“This seems very conniving, Conrad. I didn’t know you had this sort of thing in you.”

He grinned, “Oh, I can be very cunning when I have to be.”

“Yeah…you’re kind of scary now so,” Tucker motioned over his shoulder. “I’m gonna go say hello to some people…”

Conrad sobered and nodded, “Sure, of course. Let me know how it goes tonight.”

So later that night, when Tucker sat down with his phone, he was nervous. Would Taylor even talk to him? Would she just hang up the phone? What if she wasn’t home; what if she was still with Jack? There were too many what-ifs and no one there to tell him to shut up and stop over-thinking everything.

He finally just hit the stupid button –after all, what was the worst that could happen?

The call was answered on the third ring.

“Hello?”

Tucker’s voice caught in his throat, and he suddenly wasn’t sure what to say.

“…Tucker, I know it’s you. I have Call-ID,” he could picture her rolling her eyes.

“Yes –yes it is, sorry. Umm…” he stumbled. “I…I just called to apologize for being such an ass lately.”

“Oh, well, that was nice of you.”

“Look, I know that…well, I called to ask if you and Jack wanted to meet me for coffee before he left for camp,” Tucker finally got out. “To apologize to both of you; I mean, it’s great you two are dating now.”

“Tucker,” she sighed. “I know it’s just killing you inside.”

“No, it’s not –I mean, I’m totally over us. It was never going to work, you know?” He gave a nervous laugh. “I mean –you and me, completely insane.”

“Why?” She couldn’t help the offended tone out of her voice.

“Well, c’mon –I’m in total gay denial, and I was basically just using you as a cover-up. I was probably better off with Margo for that, you know?” He mentally kicked himself. Way to not come off like a complete asshole.

“Right…” she agreed. “Well, I’m not sure what Jack’s plans are before he leaves. I mean, he’s still got to get packed and all that jazz.”

“Of course,” he nodded. “But, ah, just ask him. Maybe, tomorrow around two? I’ll be there, if you can make it. If not, it’s not a huge deal or anything.”

“Okay. Maybe we’ll see you there then.”

“Good, great. Tomorrow then…I hope.” Another mental kick –this time for sounding like such a tool. “See you….Bye.” he hung up before he could make a bigger fool of himself. He shook his head as he texted Conrad the news.

Conrad replied a few minutes later.

Tucker nodded to himself. It was good to have a partner in all of his hullabaloo, right. Especially if it were to end badly…then it wouldn’t have to place all the blame on himself. Plus, it seemed like Conrad was becoming the ringleader in all of this anyway.

Tealeaves was quieter than normal, now that school had let out. Even the waitresses looked bored, wiping down every flat surface just in order to have something to do. It was to warm for the tea and coffee the place was known for, so more people were flocking to places like Lollytarts and Mantro –the nerd themed ice cream parlor down the street.

Tucker ordered a lemonade and sat in a corner booth near the widow to wait and see if Taylor and Jack would show. He picked at a fresh-baked and glazed donut as well, but his heart wasn’t really in food. He kept sliding glances at the door. It was still early –five to two. He decided he’d give them until 2:30 before he just went home.

With his donut in front of him, and his glass of lemonade to the side, he pulled out his first summer-reading book. Unlike most students, he honestly didn’t mind reading too much. Although, Catcher In the Rye was proving to be probably his least favorite book of all time. The swearing was a little entertaining, but ‘listening’ to Holden bitch about how awful his life was, was just obnoxious.

“Try living a day in my life, buddy,” he rolled his eyes, a few pages into the book.

“Talking to yourself? I’m pretty sure that’s a sign of some mental problem.”

He lowered his book as Taylor –just Taylor, slid into the booth. “Um, hey, where’s Jack?”

“He couldn’t make it, but I wasn’t going to let you sit here all by yourself waiting for us.”

“You could have called,” he reminded her.

“I could have,” she nodded, reaching to break off a piece of his donut. “Besides, why does it matter if Jack is with us? Don’t tell me you’ve got a crush on him now?”

“No, of course not,” Tucker shook his head. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, I can get it myself,” she shrugged. “This isn’t a date; you don’t have to pay.”

“Well, I asked you out today…um, well you and Jack.”

“Are you nervous, Tucker?” She asked.

“A little,” he admitted.

“How come?”

“Well, we haven’t had a decent conversation since prom night,” he reminded her. “So…you know, this is just a little awkward for me.”

“Are you mad because I’m seeing Jack?”She asked. “If you are, just tell me now.”

He tucked a napkin into the book as he thought about the question. “I’m not mad, about Jack. I’m just confused, I guess. What makes him so much better for you than I am?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “He just gets me.”

“But I thought that I got you too,” he argued.

“It’s different,” she shook her head, stealing more of his donut. Tucker finally pushed the plate at her so she wouldn’t have to reach for it any more.

“How so?” He prompted when she didn’t continue.

“Because he doesn’t focus so much on what’s wrong with me,” she stated. “What I look like, what I try to pass as, doesn’t matter to him. And when we’re alone, if he wants to do something, he just goes for it.”

“…You slept with him?”

“We’ve been fooling around, that’s all,” she waved a hand.

The idea of that stabbed him, right in the gut. It was only pushed aside when his phone started to vibrate on the table.

“Um, excuse me,” he picked it up. Conrad was texting him.

“Sorry, just a second,” he said he Taylor as he started to reply.

“Who is it? Someone important?” she asked.

“Ah, no, no, it’s okay,” he shook his head. “So, Jack is leaving for camp soon, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s his like third year as a councilor; he’s really excited about it.” She nodded, and then looked a little annoyed as the phone vibrated again.

“Sorry,” Tucker replied.

“Anyway,” she polished off the last of his donut. “I’m going to get a drink quick. You want another donut?”

“No, thanks,” he shook his head as the phone vibrated.

“So, who are you talking to?” Taylor slid back into the space across from him. “Someone I know?”

Tucker knew he had two options: he could go with Conrad’s hairbrained scheme, or just tell her the truth… and he was a little curious to see where Conrad was going with this.

“Ah, it’s just a guy I’ve been sort of seeing,” he replied. “No big deal.”

“A guy? You’ve seeing?” He wasn’t sure what it was that flashed across Taylor’s face, but he knew it wasn’t exactly pure unadulterated joy. “Oh. Where’d you meet him?”

“Ah,” he looked down at his phone. Sports, huh? “He goes to another school; we played football together. We ran into each other at, uh, the mall! Yeah, at Sports Locker. I needed some new cleats for the fall, and they were having a sale.”

“Oh,” she nodded. “Well, good for you.”

<> Conrad’s reply came in.

“Yeah, he’s really great,” he stammered. “Really athletic, like me, so we have to talk about –although, we tend to like different teams, so it leads to some,” he wasn’t sure where he was going with it, “some pretty interesting arguments.”

“Oh,” she nodded.

“He’s from, uh, Wisconsin,” he explained.

“What’s his name?”

Lying was harder than he had anticipated as he shuffled names around in his head that could sound plausible and easy to remember. “Kevin,” he finally came up with. “Ah, you wouldn’t know him so don’t worry about it.”

“What’s he look like?”

“You’re asking a lot of questions,” Tucker was starting to feel the clamp of awkwardness that he always associated with full out lying.

“Just curious,” she shrugged.

“Well, he’s pretty average guy looking. Cute,” he shrugged. “Athletic.”

“I kind of got that from the ‘plays football’ thing,” she nodded.

“Well, you know, really like macho-athletic. Sturdy build, muscular…the kind of body that you just want to oil down, you know. Very ancient-Greek-statuary.”

She furrowed a brow as he dug himself a deeper hole.

“Anyway,” he cut her off. “What’s been new with you?”

“Nothing really,” she shook her head. “I’m just…hanging out.”

“And you and Jack are good.”

“Yeah, we’re excellent,” she nodded. “I’m very happy with him.”

“Good,” he nodded. “I’m glad to hear it.”

They both took drinks from their glasses and stared away from each other for a moment, trying to collect themselves. Taylor wasn’t sure why she was suddenly so pissed –so what if Tucker was seeing someone. Obviously whoever this Kevin guy was, he was much better suited to Tucker anyway. She liked sports well enough, but since transitioning, they’d gone to the background. And she wasn’t the muscular type at all. She couldn’t really see Tucker with a guy like that, but if it was what he was in to…

“So, any plans for the weekend?” Tucker cut into her thoughts.

“Working on my summer reading list,” she replied. “I’m almost done with that Faulkner book.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “I started with Catcher,” he raised the book. “It’s awful.”

“Yeah, I read that a year or so ago…I wasn’t overly fond of it either, but some people seem to really connect to it.” She shrugged, “I’m sick of trying to connect.”

He nodded.

The awkwardness filled the room again, and his phone buzzed.

“Sorry about him; he’s…um, kind of clingy.”

“That’s all right. Take your time.”

She wasn’t sure why she felt the green twinges of jealousy as she watched Tucker focus on his phone for a second to reply. He seemed embarrassed about it; like there was something a little more going on that he wanted to let her know.

“Anyway,” Tucker put away the phone again, “tell me about Jack’s camp.”

“I don’t know very much about it; just that he’s a Councilor this year or something. He’s very excited about it. It’s up north somewhere, very secluded –you know, where people can’t hear you scream?”

“Nice,” he nodded.

“Tucker…be honest,” she tilted her head, “Why did you really ask me here today? I know you didn’t care whether Jack came or not.”

“I just miss being around you, that’s all. We were going so well and then you just kind of freaked ou ton me, you know?”

“Sorry,” Taylor winced. “Can we go back to being friends?”

“I don’t know, can we? I mean, I never saw you naked, so that hast to account for something. Relationships don’t count if you never saw the person naked.”

“Who came up with that rule? Some of my favorite exes are ones I never saw naked.”

“Am I on that list?”

Taylor laughed, “You may not have seen me, but I saw you.”

“What!? You did not!” He exclaimed.

“Okay, so you weren’t totally naked –but prom night, when you changing into that sexy sweat-ensamble…yeah, the hero always peek,” she winked.

“Some hero you are,” he scoffed. “Now I feel dirty…”

She laughed again, “Don’t be that way, you were very attractive.”

“Taylor,” his face when serious. “I miss you. A lot.”

“I miss you too,” she admitted. “But, well, I really like Jack, and do –and, you know what, we should go out on a double date! I’d really like to meet Kevin. We could try and do it before Jack leaves for camp.”

“Oh, well,” Tucker bit his lip. “Kevin left for summer training. He was a senior this year, so he’s graduated. He’s on a scholarship to State U. He’s taking some summer courses and…football stuff.”

“Oh,” her face fell a little. “Well…Okay, maybe later in the summer, when he’s not so busy….just the three of us? Or we could ask Conrad! I’m sure he he’d love to get out…more.” She frowned. “I guess that would be kind of awkward, huh?”

“Just a little,” he agreed.

“Still, I’d like to meet Kevin.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “I mean, we’re not like serious or anything. He’s going to college, and I’m still in high school. So it’s really kind of unpredictable. He’ll probably get bored with me soon.” The phone vibrated again and he snatched it off the table to read it.

“Well, he seems to really like you at the moment,” she commented.

“Yeah, well…like I said, we have a lot in common,” he shrugged.

She shifted uneasily. “So, aside from the Kevin thing and the Jack thing…we can still be friends right?”

He looked up at her with a smile, “Yeah, I hope so.”

“Good,” she nodded. “Well, friend, you need to tell your boyfriend to shut up because you’re with me and I don’t play second fiddle to some macho football star. And we’re going to the movies.”

“Really?”

“Really,” she agreed. “Jack won’t go see the new Daniel Radcliff movie with me because he can’t picture him as any other character than Harry Potter. Even though I made him watch December Boys –which, agreeably, is a horrible movie.”

“Never saw it,” Tucker shrugged.

Her face went blank, “…Oh dear. Well…first we’ll go see the new movie, and if you’re a good boy and keep your phone in your pocket, maybe I’ll take you back to my place and watch that.”

“But you just said it was awful.”

“Still…you need to watch it.”

“All right,” he nodded. He finished firing off another text before shoving the phone in his pocket. “Lead the way, Friend.”

The first week of summer went by fairly quickly for Taylor. She occupied her time with avoiding her mother like the plague, reading, and occasionally going out with Tucker. It was odd –she’d like him before, but now that it seemed like they were both simultaneously attached to other people, she was finding it unbearable to imagine him with anyone else but her. Maybe it was Exes Jealousy or something, but she was certain that it wasn’t healthy. Tucker seemed shy to talk about Kevin, but she’d finally gotten it out of him that he was originally from the south, so he had a (sexy) accent and was really enjoying Summer Training.

“Isn’t he worried about like heat stroke?” Taylor had asked. “There are cases of guys training too hard and just, like, collapsing –dead.”

“He takes good care of himself,” Tucker said.

Taylor looked up from her book as there was a knock on her door. She’d tried extra hard to be quiet, and then maybe her parents wouldn’t notice she was home. Well, Dad was at a conference, two hours away, so it was really just her mother.

“What?” She finally called then the knock came again.

The door opened, and Patricia stuck her head inside, “What are you up to in here?”

“Reading S. E. Hinton off my summer reading list; why?”

“Why don’t you get dressed and we can go grocery shopping?” She offered.

“First of all, I am dressed,” Taylor didn’t give a second glance to her wife-beater with exposed bra-straps and shorts. “Secondly, why do you want me to go with you? You just yell at me when I go anywhere with you.”

“Can’t a woman just ask for a day with her son?”

Taylor sucked in a breath and counted to five, “Maybe I’ll consider it if you use the correct pronouns.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t give you such a hard time if you’d just accept that you were born with a penis,” Patricia retorted.

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” Taylor didn’t take the bait and turned back to her book. “I have other stuff to do.”

“Like what? Read? You know, no one ever reads their summer reading list; your English teacher is never going to know the difference.” Patricia let herself into the room and plucked the book away. “Put on some jeans, take out those ridiculous breast forms, and lets go.”

“I’m not interested,” Taylor made a grab for the book.

“You’re not spending a perfectly good day inside –now do it.”

Taylor sat up and crossed her arms, “Even if I wanted to, I don’t own any male clothing aside from a suit and some basketball shorts.”

Patricia turned, throwing the book down on the bed and stalking away. Taylor thought that would be the end of it and went back to reading. She was surprised when her mother stomped back in with a large box labeled “Jon” and overturned it on her head.

“Clothes. Male. Problem solved,” she tossed the box down.

“Where the hell did you get this?” Taylor brushed a pair of boxers off her head and looked at the pile; yep it was all fairly familiar –even the blue-banded tube socks she had never worn, even when she was still a he. “I thought we donated this stuff to Goodwill?”

“Like I was going to take that chance,” Patricia scoffed. “Now go on, get dressed.”

“No,” Taylor pushed the clothes off of her. Half of it landed in the box, and another fourth of it on the floor. “I don’t have to take this from you; I’m out of here.” She picked up her keys from the desk, and her purse.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Patricia followed her.

“I’m going to see if Tucker is up for doing something not completely insane,” Taylor said, swinging her purse over her head.

“The hell you are,” Patricia made a grab for her shoulder. Whether she intentionally or accidentally shoved Taylor, just as her feet hit the stairs, neither of them could really tell. Patricia would swear up and down for the rest of forever that it had just been an accident. There was an instant of sharp pain up Taylor’s arm as she found herself suddenly at the bottom of the stairs. More pain followed and a sort of…odd gritty feeling as she attempted to move it. Pressed against her chest, the pain vanished, but as soon as she was jostled again, trying to get up, the pain returned.

“Oh my god, Jon! Are you all right?” Patricia practically galloped down the stairs.

“Stay the hell away from me!” She jerked away –sending more spasms up her arm.

“Are you hurt? –You’re hurt, aren’t you. Is it broken?”

“Don’t touch me!” She pulled away from her mother’s hands. “Just leave me alone!”

“Jonathan, if it’s broken, we need to get you to a hospital right away.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured that,” she fumbled for her keys. Luckily it wasn’t her dominate hand, and she easily pulled them out of her right pocket. “Just…get away from me.” She pulled away again, her arm pressed closely to her body.

Patricia attempted to follow her, but didn’t get far as Taylor shoved her out of the way from her car door and locked herself in. She fumbled some more, getting the key into the ignition and attempting to back out of the drive way. It was difficult and she knew that there was no way in hell she was going to make it all of the way to the hospital.

With Jack at camp, it didn’t really leave very many options. She parked a little haphazardly at the curb outside of Tucker’s house and slowly made her way to the door. She was a little surprised when a woman she’d never met answered the door.

“Uh, huh, is Tucker home?”

“Tucker’s upstairs…are you all right?” She gave her a very analytical look. She as dressed in baby-blue scrubs and looked like she’d already had a pretty long day.

“Um, I sort of came to ask him if he’d drive me to the hospital, actually,” Taylor started to nervously bounce on the her heels –then the shockwaves down her arm put a stop to that almost instantly.

“Taylor, right?” She asked. “I’m Tucker’s mom; you can call me Lucy. Let me take a look; I’m a nurse.” She explained. Then she looked down at her clothes, “Or, well, I suppose you could have figured that out yourself, huh?” She backed up a little, and ushered her inside, “Come in.” She led her through the house, which Taylor had already seen a few times previously. “Tucker! Come downstairs, please!”

Lucy led her into the kitchen and set her gently into a chair, “All right, let me take a look.”

Very unwillingly, Taylor released her arm from her chest, releasing a slow hiss as the gross gritty feeling returned and the pain filtered through her arm.

“Yep,” she nodded. “Broken. We’ll have to take you in to get it set. What happened?”

“I was pushed down the stairs by my mother,” Taylor bit. “She’s fucking crazy.”

Lucy have a slight nod as Tucker walked into the room, pulling a t-shirt on over his head.

“Mom, I told you I’d get to the lawn today; stop nagging me about it,” then he noticed that Taylor was sitting at the table. “Oh, hey. What’s up?”

“We have to take her to the hospital,” Lucy put her hands on her hips.

“What? What’s wrong?” Tucker sounded a little panicked.

“My crazy mother pushed me down the stairs because I refused to change into boy clothes to go out with her today,” Taylor poured out. “Apparently she saved everything from when we moved, because she ‘couldn’t the chance’ that I’d change my mind about being a girl.”

The kitchen was silent and Taylor realized what she’d said.

“Shit…” she sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s get you to the hospital,” Lucy repeated. “Tucker, grab my keys and meet me in the car while I get my purse, okay?”

“Okay,” Tucker nodded. “C’mon Taylor.” He gently lifted her from the chair, snaking an arm around her waist. After his mother had disappeared for her purse, and he had taken her keys from the hook by the door, he pressed a kiss to Taylor’s forehead. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine; sorry about going off on you. Um…your Mom knew we were dating, huh?”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about that right now,” Tucker shook his head. “So, what happened?”

“We got into a fight,” she explained. “And I told her I was leaving; I needed to get out of the house,” she shook her head. “Next thing I knew, I was at the bottom of the stairs and my arm feels just…weird.”

“It’s all right,” he squeezed her waist as he coaxed her towards the car. “Just relax.” He helped her into the backseat before getting in beside her. “So…why did you come here?”

“Where else was I supposed to go?” she asked, as Lucy appeared with her jacket and a purse. She tossed them into the passenger seat and got into the driver’s seat.

“Taylor, do you mind if I ask where your Dad is?”

“He’s giving a conference in Madison,” Taylor replied. “He’s probably in the middle of his speech right now.”

“Well, we’ll have to try and call him.”

“I can try and call Marianne,” she thought. “That’s his secretary and PR person.”

“Tucker, why don’t you do that for her, huh?” Lucy glanced at him in the mirror.

“Where’s your phone?”

“In my purse,” she pulled it into her lap and tried to maneuver her phone out of it.

He scrolled through her contacts, “Marianne Baxter?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

Tucker took the moment to slid his hand into Taylor’s, giving her fingers a reassuring squeeze as he waited for someone to pick up. When no one did, he left a voice message that it was an emergency and to please call as soon as possible. Then he tucked the phone back into her purse. Luckily, the hospital wasn’t too far away, and with a little pull from Lucy, they were escorted straight back.

“You stay here,” Lucy put a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll take good care of Taylor.”

“But, I want to make sure she’s okay,” Tucker tried to take a step forward, but she used a gently –yet forceful hand to hold him where he was.

“Tucker,” she used her ‘nurse voice’, so he knew she was serious. “Dr. Warren and I are going to take excellent care of Taylor. But, because this appears to be abuse, we have to report it to the proper authorizes. It’s best if you sit here and wait for Taylor’s Dad to call back.” She pressed Taylor’s phone into his hand. “When he does, tell him where we are, what’s happened, and find out when he’ll be able to get back.”

“Is…is she really going to be okay –I mean, aside from the arm.”

“She’s going to be fine,” she nodded. “So, go sit in the waiting room and let Dr. Warren and I do our jobs, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded. “Fine.”

She gave his shoulder a reassuring grasp and then turned to join Taylor and the doctor in a room down the hall.

In the exam room, Dr. Warren was explaining the procedure to Taylor. He’d put her out for the setting, and when she woke up, she’d be casted and resting. He also went along to explain that they’d have to call Child Welfare, because she was under eighteen. Then he asked what color cast she’d prefer.

“Purple,” she said, without looking at the color chart.

“I think I can do that,” he nodded.

It seemed like forever, for Tucker in the waiting room. Charles called him about ten minutes later and he explained, as calmly as he could, that Taylor had broken her arm. Charles declared he’d meet them at the hospital as quickly as he could. Afterwards, he sat to wait some more. He watched some news, flipped through some magazines, and generally just tried to keep himself preoccupied. About an hour or so later, Lucy reappeared and sat down in the chair next to him.

“So.”

“What’s up?” He asked.

“Taylor isn’t a girl.”

“Sure she is,” he nodded. “Just because she has a penis doesn’t mean she isn’t a girl.”

Lucy tilted her head to the side, “Tucker.”

“Look,” he sighed. “I found out about it after our first date, but…I like her. Liked her. It doesn’t matter because she’s dating Jack now anyway.”

“Honey,” she reached over touch his arm. “Girls –people, don’t go to their exes for help, unless they’re dying, have no other choice, or they have feelings for them.”

“She didn’t have another choice,” Tucker reminded her. “She’s happy with Jack.”

“Is she?” Lucy raised an eyebrow.

“Mom,” he sighed, “please, you’re just making me more depressed.”

“Tucker, you know you can talk to me and your Dad about anything, right?”

“Of course,” he nodded.

“So, is there something you want to tell me?”

“Do we really need to have a huge conversation about this right now?”

“I just want to hear you say it,” she coaxed.

He sighed, “Really…really?”

“Really.”

“Jesus, this is ridiculous,” he sighed. He sucked in a breath and shifted in his chair a little. She waited patiently though until he let out the slow breath. “I’m gay. And…I might be in love with a tranny.”

She gave a small smile and leaned over to wrap her arms around his shoulders. “There. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Just completely mortifying,” he did the teenaged-angst thing and stiffened, rather than hug her back.

“She’s still out, but the CW ladies are here. After they’re done talking to her, she can come sit with you while we wait for her Dad.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “It won’t be long now, I’m sure.”

Indeed, it wasn’t. Fifteen minutes later, Charles stormed through the doors of the waiting room, and zeroed in on Tucker.

“Where is she?” He stopped in front of him, obviously trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

“They had to call child welfare,” Tucker explained. “If she’s awake from the bone setting, she’s probably talking to them. My Mom said she’d come out and wait until you got here –but you’re here now.”

He gave a brief nod, “I’ll go ask at the desk –she’s okay though?”

Tucker nodded, “She broke her left arm, but otherwise she’s fine.”

Charles released a breath, “All right. Thank you.”

Tucker sat and waited while Charles went to find out where his daughter was. When they told him they needed him to sign some forms, he settled down with those, impatiently tapping his pen against the clipboard and taking his sweet time in filling them out.

“Mr. Green?” Lucy stepped into the waiting room, an arm around Taylor’s shoulders. She looked sleepy and annoyed.

“Taylor!” He leapt up, sending the clipboard into Tucker’s lap. He crossed the room and pulled her into his arms.

“Ow –Dad, watch it!” She grumbled, then returned the hug.

“Sorry, sorry –does it hurt a lot?”

“We’re giving her some meds for the pain right now, and she can take ibuprofen or Tylenol when we send her home.” Lucy moved to stand behind Taylor and put her hands on her shoulders. “Tucker told you about what happened?”

“A little bit,” he nodded.

“Due to circumstances, we had to call child welfare. Mrs. Waters and Miss Jenkins will want to speak to you and your wife.”

He nodded, “I called her when I got into town; she should be here soon.”

“Taylor, why don’t you go sit with Tucker while your Dad finishes filling out some paperwork and talks to Mrs. Waters. Miss Jenkins will come sit with you to wait for your Mom, okay?”

She nodded. Charles collected the clipboard from Tucker, and then followed Lucy towards a severe looking woman who was waiting in the doorway of the conference room down the hall, where Taylor had been questioned as well.

“How is it?” Tucker asked.

“Fine now; kind of a dull ache,” she shrugged. “But I think it’s the meds. It’s going to go back to hurting like a bitch in a couple of hours.” She collapsed in the chair next to him. “I hate hospitals.”

“I’m not too fond of them either.”

She sighed, shifting to look at him, “I’m sorry if I outed you to your Mom.”

“It’s okay,” Tucker shrugged. “I think she kind of knew anyway.”

“Still…I shouldn’t have said it.”

“She would have found out anyway when you started filling out intake papers,” he reminded her. “I mean, they’re gonna have to know you’re not a girl.”

She sighed and leaned against his side, “I’m tired.”

“Sorry,” he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Hopefully you’ll be able to go home soon.”

“Ugh, the last thing I want to do is go home to her. I mean, c’mon, she broke my arm!”

He rested his head against hers, “Relax. We’ll see what the CW says.”

She sighed and shifted away as a tall woman, slightly less severe looking than Mrs. Waters was, entered and took the seat across from them. She gave them a smile before picking up a magazine to leaf through. Taylor linked fingers with him as she started to drift back off. She was just about asleep when Patricia finally made her appearance in the waiting room.

“Oh thank god,” she pressed a hand to her chest. “Jonathan, I was so worried about you –I had no idea where you’d go!”

“Mrs. Green,” Miss Jenkins stood with a smile. “I’m Susanne Jenkins. Do you mind if we step into another room and have a chat?”

“Who are you?” Patricia asked, a belligerent attitude entering her face.

The smile never left Miss Jenkin’s face as she replied, “I’m a social worker with the Family Welfare office. We were called when Taylor was admitted to the hospital. I just need to have a short chat with you; for prosperities sake.”

Patricia didn’t look too happy about the idea, but figured she probably couldn’t get out of it. They disappeared, leaving the teenagers alone in the room.

“So, what was your talk with the CW like?” Tucker asked.

“Fine,” she shrugged. “They just asked about my parents, how they usually treated me, if we’d had problems in the past. Whatever. It was fine.”

“What do you think they’ll do?”

“I’m not sure,” she shrugged. “Maybe nothing. Schedule a follow up visit for six months and never show.”

“If you want, you can come stay with me for a few days,” he suggested. “I’m sure my Mom would be fine with it.”

“Really?” She asked.

“Yeah, I mean…it might be a little awkward, but I just want you to feel safe.”

“Why would it be awkward?”

“You know, with us being…exes or whatever. And you dating Jack, and him being out of town. I wouldn’t want him to think that something was going on.”

“…Is something going on?” She asked.

“N-no…”

“Tucker?”

“Yeah?”

“Jack is at camp. What he doesn’t know isn’t going to hurt him,” she leaned forward and pressed a short kiss to his lips. “…Maybe it’s the Vicodin talking, but…I’m not really sure at the moment why we broke up.”

“Because you thought I was coddling you.”

“Right…that was stupid.”

“I thought so,” he smiled.

“…Let me get through today and see how I feel about the whole thing after I’m not doped up,” She brushed her hand over her hair and gave a long yawn.

“Deal,” he nodded.

She snuggled up against his shoulder and closed her eyes until Lucy appeared again to collect her.

“The ladies from CW would like you to wait in one of our conference rooms while they discuss,” Lucy said. “This way, please –Tucker, I’m sorry honey, you’ve just got to wait a little bit longer.”

“It’s all right, I’m used to it by now,” he sighed.

“Sorry,” Taylor squeezed his shoulder before following Lucy. Her parents were already situated in the conference room a little ways down the hall.

“Hey,” Charles looked up. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” she shrugged, taking a seat at the table, across from him. Patricia looked over from her spot at the window, but didn’t say anything. Charles and Taylor talked a little while they waited, and it was a good fifteen minutes before the ladies walked in.

“My partner and I have discussed the situation at hand,” Mrs. Waters took a seat at the end of the table while Miss Jenkins sat beside Taylor. “Please, take a seat Mrs. Green.”

Patricia slid into a chair at the end of the table, and crossed her arms over her chest.

“While we don’t believe,” Mrs. Waters ruffled a folder where she’d been keeping notes, “that there is any alarm in the situation –we do detect that there is some unease happening within your family that is taking a toll not only on your personal relationships, but also on your son.”

“Daughter,” Miss Jenkins corrected.

“Hmm? Oh, yes,” Mrs. Waters peered over her spectacles at Taylor. “My apologies; old fashioned, you know.”

“It’s OK,” Taylor shrugged. Annoyance flashed across Patricia’s face, but she clenched her jaw and didn’t say any more.

“Continuing; it’s our recommendation that you seek not only family counseling, but also individually. Taylor, you may know that as part of your transitioning, you need to have an evaluation from a psychiatrist, should you choose to begin a hormone regimen, when you turn eighteen.” She pulled a sheet of paper from the back of the file. “We’ve listed some promising councilors in the area who specialize in LGBT families, and particularly transgender individuals,” she slid the paper to Charles, who was sitting closest to her. “We will revisit this case in six months, to see how the family is progressing. In the mean time, I think it best that you all take a short breathing period.” She started particularly at Patricia when she said this.

“Is there a place where Taylor can stay for a night or two?” Miss Jenkins asked. “If not, we can make arrangements.”

“I can stay with Tucker,” she said.

“I wouldn’t want to impose on Lucy,” Charles shook his head.

“Well, we didn’t ask her, but I’m sure it would be fine.” She retorted.

“We can ask,” he agreed. “Otherwise, I can make arrangements for a hotel,” he assured the social workers.

Miss Jenkins nodded, “We just need you and Patricia to sign a few papers for us, and we’ll be out of your hair, for now.” She gave another sunny smile as Mrs. Waters slid some papers against towards Charles. He clicked a pen a few times, skimming over the document before scrawling his signature at it and sliding it down towards Patricia.

“Come on, Taylor,” Charles stood up, not waiting for his wife to finish her own John Hancock before ushering his daughter out of the room. “Thank you ladies; and again –I’m very sorry to have had to have you come down here today. I’m deeply ashamed of my wife’s behavior today.” He couldn’t even look at her as he touched Taylor’s shoulder.

“It’s our job, Mr. Green,” Mrs. Waters closed the folder. “And over all, no harm done.”

Taylor didn’t respond, but she flexed the fingers of her left hand, as if emphasizing irony of the phrase, “no harm done”. She turned and followed her father out of the room, nearly running smack into Lucy who was waiting outside.

“Sorry!” She exclaimed, taking a step back. “Ah, how did it go?”

“Fine, thanks,” Charles nodded at her. “We were wondering if we could ask a favor.”

“A favor?” Lucy repeated.

“The ladies suggested a little family breather,” Charles explained. “—I understand if you say no, but it would you mind if Taylor spent a night with your family this evening?”

“Of course not,” Lucy shook her head. “We’d be happy to.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to impose,” Charles pressed.

“I’d be glad to,” Lucy confirmed, drawing an arm around Taylor’s shoulder as they started to move back towards the waiting room to collect Tucker. “Why don’t we make a stop at your house for an overnight bag and then we can stop to pick up something for dinner; did you even eat lunch?” She started to fret with Taylor’s hair, smoothing it over her shoulder. “You must be starving.”

“I could eat,” she shrugged.

“Then, let’s go. What are you hungry for?” Lucy asked.

Taylor shrugged, “Whatever is fine. I’m not an overly picky eater.”

“Hmm…maybe we’ll stop and pick up some fried chicken or something at the supermarket,” she suggested. “Tucker, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Is everything squared away now?”

“For now,” Lucy nodded. “Taylor is going to come stay with us for the night.”

“Awesome,” he nodded.

“We’re going to stop by Taylor’s house and pick up a few things, then go pick up something dinner,” Lucy said, taking her purse from the floor next to where Tucker had spent his afternoon. “I’m sure you’re starving too.”

“Absolutely,” he nodded. “—Oh, I borrowed a couple of bucks from your purse for a soda and a candy bar.”

She frowned by didn’t say anything, “C’mon, let’s go.”

“I’ll meet you at the house,” Charles said. “I’m going to wait for Patty.”

“Okay,” Lucy nodded. “See you in a bit then.”

The car ride was filled with Lucy babbling –how great Dr. Warrens was, dinner plans, directions to the Green house. Once inside, she poked around, looking at things while Tucker tried to keep her in check and Taylor packed a quick over-night bag. She was just coming back downstairs when Charles came through the door.

“You forgot about your check-out package,” he pressed a plastic bag into her hand. “Remember you need to cover up your cast when you shower.”

“Oh, right, thanks dad,” She unzipped her backpack to shove it inside.

“You’ll come home tomorrow afternoon?”

“Sure,” she nodded.

“Your Mom and I are going to talk tonight,” he promised.

“Kay,” she nodded.

“Try and have some fun,” he reminded her.

“Yeah, we’ll have a real swell time,” she rolled her eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“We’ll take good care of her, Charles,” Lucy assured him. “Come on, let’s go kiddos.”

“We aren’t five,” Tucker grumbled, taking Taylor’s bag from her. “—Let me carry that for you.”

“Thanks,” she handed it over. “Why don’t we get going then?”

“See you later, Charles,” Lucy waved. She ushered the teens back to the car and they set out for the grocery store.

The North house was in a sort of awkward silence that night. Lucy made tacos for dinner, and Rachel –the so-far unnamed sister, seemed perplexed at Taylor’s suddenly being seated at their dinner table, not to mention the broken arm.

“You aren’t dating anymore, are you? I thought you were dating the gay guy…former gay guy? Whatever,” Rachel was two years younger than Tucker and a freshman.

“Um, sort of; he’s at camp right now,” Taylor offered as some kind of explanation.

“And the gay thing?”

She slid a look at Tucker who shoved a taco into his mouth rather than answer.

“It’s complicated.”

“Right,” she nodded. “Well, dinner was lovely Mom, but I’m meeting my friends for a movie.”

“Have fun,” Lucy replied.

“Ah, why don’t you go watch TV or something Mom? Taylor and I can clean up in here,” Tucker offered.

She gave a slight frown but nodded, “All right –but Taylor, don’t get your cast wet!”

“I won’t –drying duty only,” she swore.

Lucy left for the living room, and Tucker started running a sink of water for the dishes, while Taylor started to put the leftover food into storage containers.

“So, earlier…did you mean what you were saying or was it the meds talking?”

“About what?” Taylor asked.

“About Jack. And me.”

She looked up at him, “I don’t know. I mean, you were the first one to come to mind when I was thinking about who to go to for help. And, I have fun with Jack, but…you’re still in my head, you know?”

He didn’t reply as he started to place dirty dishes into the steamy dishwater.

“I don’t want to hurt Jack,” she continued. “But, I think he knows that I’m not always with him, when I’m with him.”

“You think about me when you’re…” he raised an eyebrow.

“Not like that,” she smacked him in the side with her good hand. “But…when we’re alone, and we’re not really doing anything at all. I think about you and how sweet you are. How patient you were.”

“I’m still patient,” he assured her.

“I know, I know,” she nodded. “I don’t know what I want, and Jack isn’t here so this little triangle just…has to be put on hold.”

“Ah, so it was the Vicodin saying ‘what Jack doesn’t know won’t hurt him’?”

“A little. It’d be nice to just push him aside like that, but he’s a good guy and he really does like me. I don’t want to treat him like crap, you know?”

“Well…can you call him? Or something.”

“He secreted away a cell phone, but you have to walk to the top of this huge hill in order to get even a couple of bars of reception. He’s called me a couple of times, but the camp is old-school, so letters are preferred method of communication with home. Unless it’s an emergency or something.”

“Hrm, I don’t think I like the idea of camp,” Tucker shook his head. “I never went, and I’m totally glad now. No cell phones? Are you kidding me?”

“You never went to camp?” She looked aghast.

He raised an eyebrow and waved a hand around the kitchen, “Does this look like a house were they send their kids to some expensive summer camp? Heck no; I mow lawns, play baseball, video games, loaf around the house. Better than some summer camp.”

“But Tucker, you’re missing the most important part of summer camp,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “Half the kids at camp have their first experiences over that six weeks.”

“I’ve had pretty good experiences without having to go a couple hundred miles from home, thanks,” Tucker rolled his eyes, plunging his hands into the soapy water.

“Oh really?” Taylor teased.

“Yes,” he countered. “And almost none of them happened in the summer.”

“I think you and I have two completely different meanings behind the word ‘experience’.”

“No, I know exactly what you’re talking about,” he chided. “And I stand by my previous statements.”

“Okay, okay,” she started taking plates as he set them in the dish drainer to dry them. “So you’re not camp material; that’s fine. But I’m not going to bring down Jack’s summer, writing him a letter to say, Oh hey, I’m sorry –you’re like three hours away, and I’m going through some shit, so I’m going to start hanging out with Tucker again, because he’s here,” she slid him a look. “That’s just shitty.”

“So you have a point there,” he agreed. “But…you know, let’s deal with Jack when he’s home from camp. Let him have a fun time riding horses and swimming or whatever the hell it is he’s doing.”

“It’s a drama camp. He’s singing. And dancing.”

“Great! He’s really enjoying himself then –let him! And then when he gets back, we can tell him together that…”

“That what?”

“That…we’re getting back together. Aren’t we?”

“So, let him have an amazing summer and then break his heart just in time for school to start again?”

“There isn’t any good way to do it, Taylor.”

“True enough.”

He put the last pan in the dish drainer and picked up another towel to help her dry and put them away. “Lets not over think this right now; it’s been a really long day, and I’m sure you’re still tired.”

“All right,” she nodded. “I can totally go with that for now.”

“Mom,” he called. “I’m going to show Taylor upstairs.”

“Rachel should have made up the guest room,” Lucy called back. “There are extra blankets in the closet.”

Tucker rolled his eyes and muttered to himself, as Taylor followed him up the stairs. “C”mon, I’ll show you the guest room. Please, excuse the yellow.”

“Yellow?” She questioned, following close behind him. Then she saw the room. “Oh, yellow….” The entire room was plastered with sunflowers, dasies, and other yellow flowers. Shadow boxes were arranged with real dried flowers. The bedspread was a buttery yellow, and appeared to have some hand-stitched embroidery of flowers and butterflies on it.

“Yeah…not my choice,” he explained.

“Hey, as long as the bed is comfy –beggars can’t be choosers, right?”

“I guess not. Um, there’s a TV in the cabinet,” he pulled open the doors. “Ah, bathroom is just down the hall on the left.”

“I think I remember,” she assured him. “It’s still a little early…” she coaxed, pulling at the hem of his t-shirt as she slithered closer. “Maybe we could watch a little television or a movie before bed?”

“Taylor…” he took a tentative step back. “It’s been a long day.”

“Please?” She pouted. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

He bit his lip before he nodded, “All right, what do you want to watch?”

“I don’t care, anything is fine.”

“C’mon,” he ushered her onto the bed and plucked the remote out of the side drawer and they cuddled together on the bed. He flicked on the TV. “Ah, how about basketball?”

“Sure,” she nodded. “It’s been awhile since I watched ball.”

They snuggled together on the couch, listening to the commentary and watching the players move up and down the court. Taylor relaxed against him and pressed her cast in the space between their bodies as she clung to his side.

“Are you falling asleep on me?” He teased.

“Maybe a little,” she yawned.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Why don’t you get changed, and get to bed, okay?”

She gave a little frown but finally nodded, “All right, that’s probably a good idea.”

“Good night,” he kissed her again. “If you need anything, you know where my room is.”

“Thanks –good night, Tucker.”

He left her alone in the guest room and made his way to his own room. The house was quiet as he crawled into bed after stripping down. It felt odd to know that Taylor was in the same house as him, and yet…she was still so far away. It was also odd that know that his mother know knew his biggest, most terrifying secret…and the world hadn’t ended when he’d come clean about it.

Tucker knocked softly on the guest room door a little after seven. He heard her shuffle around in bed and utter a soft, “Come in.” He slipped inside and closed the door quietly behind himself.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, sliding into bed next to her.

“Well enough,” she blinked blearily at him. “My arm really hurts again.”

“I’ll get you some aspirin for it,” he assured her. “Are you hungry? Mom is making pancakes with bacon, sausage, and eggs.”

“Sounds good,” she nodded. “I just need to get dressed.”

“You look fine,” he told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“Hmm –I look like a boy,” she scowled.

“You look sexy,” he nuzzled closer, then took a tentative look down. “Although, yes you do have a masculine quality to you this morning…but I kind of like it.”

“It feels weird,” she gave a little cringe.

“Bad weird?”

“No…just regular weird,” she shrugged. “It’s been awhile since I was this close to a guy as a guy.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “Well, just try and relax a little. Don’t think about it too much.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard,” she wrapped a leg around his waist, scooting closer still. She was just about to lean in for a long good-morning kiss when a sharp rap sounded on the door.

“Up and at ‘em, sleepy heads,” Lucy didn’t open the door, luckily. “Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes.”

Tucker groaned, withdrawing, “We’ll be there in a minute, Mom.”

“It’s okay –we’ve got all summer to snuggle,” Taylor reminded him. “Now, get out so I can get dressed really quick.”

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“Sounds good,” she yawned and stretched.

Tucker let himself back out of her room and quickly pulled on a clean looking t-shirt and a pair of jeans. He was just passing Taylor’s room when she opened the door. She had changed into a bright blue t-shirt and a pair of denim capris; defiantly more feminine than the black band t-shirt and boxer shorts she slept in.

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without make on,” he noted.

“And hopefully you rarely will again,” she quipped, the sobered. “Honestly, I don’t wear that much.”

“You look great.

“Thanks.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

“So, what do you want to do today?” he asked.

“Well, I should probably go home after breakfast,” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Deal with my parents and stuff, you know?”

“You can hide out here as long as you want.”

“I don’t want to hide,” she shook her head. “I’m sick of hiding. I mean, I know I’m weird, and I’m different, and I always hope that my Mom will just come to accept that about me, but…” she sighed and gave a shrug. “Maybe my Dad and Stella were right; sometimes you just have to cut the people who don’t accept you out of your life, and for me…my Mom is one of those people.”

He frowned and pull her in for a tight hug, “I’m sorry, Taylor.”

“Thanks,” she gave him a brave smile and pushed him away. “C’mon, breakfast smells delicious.”

“Of course it does,” he followed along behind her down the stairs towards the dining room. “My Mom is like the best cook in the world…”

A few hundred miles away, Jack Krupp woke up in his awkwardly lumpy camp bed. But he loved every minute of it. The hot Midwestern summer was just what he had been waiting all year for. He was free from the tyranny of Conrad for the first time in what felt like forever, he had an awesome boyfriend…or girlfriend, depending on how you looked at it. And now he was entering week two of his fantastic stay at camp, and so far everything as going fantastically. Except for one thing…

For the last five years, there had been another certain Lake Elmwood attendee at the camp, and one that upon arrival had always made double sure that Jack understood that no one, no one was to know he was there. Carter North, Tucker’s cousin. And this year, like Jack, he was a councilor. The second in the command to Jack’s first, for Sondheim Cabin. This meant that they were sharing close quarters; their beds only being a few feet apart, and the closed confined space reminded Jack of why he wasn’t friends with Carter outside of camp.

“You up, Jacqueline?” Carter asked from the other bed where he was tying his shoes.

“Yes, Northstar, thanks for asking,” Jack stretched, working the kink out of his back. Carter hadn’t quite figured out why calling him Northstar was funny yet –and Jack would probably pay dearly when he realized it was the name of a gay superhero. They did it every year –new, degrading nicknames. Jack had been Jackie, Krapp, and GG among various others, while Carter had been graced with things like Mr. Peanut, Short stack, and Hack.

“The campers are already at breakfast; you’re running late today.”

He grumbled, “It was a long night –you slept through the Cooper twins almost setting fire to their bunk.”

“You know, I thought I heard some commotion…” he pondered, tightening the laces before putting his foot down. Jack, still slightly fuzzy from sleep entertained the notion for a few moments as he peered at his fellow councilor that he was rather attractive, freshly showered and dressed in clean black shorts and the baby-blue camp t-shirt.

“Yeah, whatever,” he shook his head, dashing away the thoughts. “It made me miss home, which is fire hazard free.”

“And your secret boyfriend?” Carter rolled his eyes.

Jack grinned, “Yes, and my secret boyfriend.”

“I still can’t believe you won’t tell me,” he scoffed, getting up and throwing his chain with a set of dog tags around his neck, which he safely tucked under his t-shirt. “We’ve been friends for how long?”

“Conner, you only talk to me two months out of the year.” Jack reminded him. “The rest of the time you’re a homophobic prick.”

“Hey,” Connor turned, adjusting his watch on his wrist, “I resent that. Yeah, I put on a show, but you know me –I’m good at that. I don’t care one way or the other.”

“So, hypothetically,” Jack sat up, pushing back the covers to start getting dressed. “Say Tucker came out as gay –you wouldn’t care?”

“No, of course not,” Conner shook his head. “Why…do you know something?”

Jack shrugged, “You just rag him so much about doing GSA stuff, and hanging out with me and Conrad.”

“My football buddies would never let me live it down if I didn’t rag on him. It’s high school, Jack,” he rolled his eyes. “…It’s just another year, and we’re done. We go to college, we get jobs, we become the people we wanted to be the whole time we were in school, but were too afraid of what everyone else thought of us to really go for it. So, yeah if Tucker wants to tell me he’s gay after we graduate, I’m not going to be surprised or hate him or anything. I’d say, ‘Good for you, Tucker’ and that’d be that.”

“What about you?” Jack teased, knowing it was a question Carter would never really answer, “You never seem to have a girlfriend.”

He gave a slight scowl, “You know me, Jacqueline, no one can pin me down.”

“Maybe you’re just not getting pinned by the right people?” Jack used his best flirty tone. He did a faux-sexy little strip as we swapped for fresh trunks and shorts.

“Over the line, man,” Carter shook his head. “I’m going to go make sure the campers haven’t started any food fights. Come get breakfast when you’re ready,” he clapped him on the shoulder as he squeezed past towards the door.

Jack finished getting dressed and made his way out of the cabin toward the dining hall with his customary messenger bag tossed over his shoulder. The camp was relatively small, and housed six cabins; three for girls, three for boys. The Main House was where the administrators lived and had offices, and where mail came in to be sorted, and so forth. There was a small medical hut with a full-time nurse, who also lived in the Main House, and then a large outdoor amphitheatre-like structure off to the side, as well as a normal looking indoor theatre. There were also the normal camp things like a lake, arts-and-crafts hut, a stable, and so forth, but most of the kids were there for drama. They worked on one huge production throughout the summer –this year, the play was the original musical The Wizard of Oz. In between rehearsals, councilors and teachers taught things like choreography, impersonation, improvisation, and other things.

A subset of the camp, and the real reason Carter was involved, was the technical aspect. He could re-wire a lighting fixture in five minutes, he knew a soundboard better than anyone. He was a backstage person, but damned if he’d let anyone know that he liked that. Sure, he did a little acting on the side too; he was disturbingly good at improv, but being up in the production booth was where he was most at home.

“Finally joining us?” Carter looked up, shoving a huge fork full of pancake into his mouth. “About time.”

“Don’t talk with your mouthful, you’re setting a band example for the kids.” Jack rolled his eyes. He had grabbed a muffin and a bottle of juice from the breakfast line before sitting down with his campers. He and Carter were in charge of the 11-14 year olds, which over all wasn’t that bad.

They’d all grown up at camp together, so they were fairly familiar with one another. The cabin had been devastated to learn that one of their campers had passed away over the year since they’d last met. Details hadn’t been given to the campers, but the councilors knew that he’d taken his own life, most likely due to the bullying he had been receiving at his middle school. Jack had felt a little pang of disbelief; he’d heard a lot of news stories over the last year or so about kids taking their own lives, but he’d never thought that one of, as he thought of them, his campers would take that into account. The boys had been upset by the news, and had many questions. For most of them, it was the first peer death they’d ever experienced. Telling them it had been suicide would have just made them even worse. So, as part of their memorim to their lost friend, they had jointly decided to do a rendition of his favorite play.

“So,” Jack pulled a notebook from his bag flipped through to the day’s events. “On board for today: Steve, you have rehearsal with Dee and the rest of the main cast starting at ten. Do not be late! As for the rest of you, you have full cast at three at six this afternoon. Scott is expecting you all for the improv tournament at two. Otherwise, those of you who want to practice choreography will meet with me in the dance studio after breakfast. Techs go with Carter for a lesson on sound boards. As always for our nature inclined, Sig will be hosting the customary nature walk of the day, and Marge will have a riding party later.”

“You’re so organized,” Carter teased. “Do you make schedules like this for every aspect of your life?”

“Of course not,” Jack rolled his eyes. “But someone has to keep you guys on task.”

“If you’re going to be dancing all day, you should eat more than that muffin,” he tsked, shoving his plate of bacon and eggs towards his friend. “Here, have some protein.”

“…Carter, that is disgusting. Do you have to put maple syrup on everything?”

“Yes…yes I do,” he nodded, picking up one of the sausage links and licking off some of the dripping syrup.

“Okay, now who is over stepping boundaries?” Jack cringed, picking at his muffin.

“Do you guys have to flirt in front of us?” One of the Cooper twins asked. “I mean, whatever floats your boat, but really.”

“Trust me, kiddo,” Jack shook his head, “we are not flirting –this guy is a total ass most of the time.”

“Besides, Jacqueline has a boyfriend,” Carter reminded him. “A secret boyfriend he won’t tell anyone about –probably because he’s ashamed of his taste in men.”

“That’s not why I won’t tell you, Northstar,” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Then why?”

“Because I don’t want it to get back home.”

“Dude, why would I ever do that?”

“I’m not talking about it anymore; I’ll be in the dance studio whenever anyone is ready to work on their grapevine,” Jack got up, taking his breakfast with him.

Carter frowned, stabbing his fork into another piece of pancake to shove it into his mouth while watched the other boy walk away.

Jack kept busy the rest of the day, working on choreography with the campers. As well as doing the dance choreography for the entire musical, he was also co-starring as the Scarecrow. The main cast was made up of a variety of campers from all over, the youngest being Dorothy –played a ten year old girl named Dee. The oldest camper, aside from Jack, was a sixteen year old girl named Madge who was playing the Wicked Witch. The youngest of the campers were playing munchkins and winkies. There were also a slew of winged monkeys, Emerald City peoples, and the part of the Wizard was being played by the camp owner and director, Herman “Sig” Siguard.

At noon, he broke for lunch before going to the theatre to start working on blocking with the director for the cast choreography. He’d poured over musicals the the Oz film and the Wiz, and other Baum productions as soon as he’d heard they were doing the Wizard of Oz. It was one of his favorite stories, and he’d read quite a few of the books. He was just leaving to join the Improv tournament when he ran into Carter.

“Hey,” Carter grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry about breakfast…you know I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me,” Jack pulled away from him. “Are you coming to the Improv thing?”

“No, I’ve got to work on the sound system; some of the wireless mics aren’t working right.”

“Do you need help? I was just going to watch,”

“Um…sure, if you don’t mind. It’s kind of just busy work,” he shrugged. “One of the kids will help if you’d rather go to the improv.”

“No, it’s all right. You know I’m awful at improv anyway.”

“All right,” he nodded. “Come up to the sound booth with me,” he beckoned back towards the theatre. Jack followed along behind him.

“They might just need new batteries, so we’ll try that first,” Carter explained.

“Sure, I can put in batteries,” Jack agreed.

“Great,” Carter pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the sound booth. It was a large, rectangular area with a lot of switches set up along the large desk that over looked the theatre. “Take a seat while I find the receivers.” He flipped to another key and unlocked a storage cabinet in the back that was laden with equipment. He pulled out a card board box filled with wireless microphone parts and set it on an empty space on the desk. “Okay, the receivers with uses are tagged with a red sticker.” He set a couple of them down on the counter in front of where Jack was sitting. “Ah, let me grab the extra batteries,” he scratched his head, looking at the supply cabinet. Then he made a slight clicking sound as he reached for the huge shrink-wrapped package of double-As.

Jack popped the back off one of the red-dotted receivers and pulled out the batteries that were inside, “What should I do with these?”

“Ah…stick ‘em in here,” he picked up an empty cardboard box from a stack in the back corner and set it on the table. Then, he sat down and started prying open backs as well, tossing the bad batteries into the cardboard box. They worked quietly for a few minutes. When Jack had put new batteries in a couple of packs, Carter moved on to see if they would reconnect with the new batteries. Some of them did, and some of them didn’t. Those that did, he peeled of the red stickers, the others he tossed into the dead battery box.

“So, what are you going to do with these?” Jack asked, picking up one of the still-dead receivers.

“I’ll try re-syncing them, maybe there’s a wire short in them. I’ll probably pop them open and poke around. Worst-comes-to-worst, we’ll have to order some new ones. Some of them are pretty old,” Carter shrugged. He picked up one of them, “This one…” he gave a little smile, “you might not know it, but this is the mic you’ve used every year, since that production of The Pajama Game –you played Max. The first year I came to camp.”

“And how do you know that?” Jack asked, taking the receiver from him and unwinding the microphone wire.

Carter blushed, “I never took off the mark,” he pointed to the strip of whiteout that lined the bottom of the case.

“No way has that stayed there for –what? Six years?”

“I refresh the strip every year before I hand it back to you.”

“And why would you waste your time doing that?” Jack raised an eyebrow. “A microphone is a microphone.” He clipped the earpiece into his ear and fiddled with the stick mic. It felt good to have it on again. When he was on stage in rehearsal, he felt naked without the thing.

Carter shrugged, “I don’t know. I just…do.”

“And do you do that for all of your campers?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Just you.”

“You’re very strange, Northstar,” Jack shook his head, pulling the microphone back out of his ear and re-wrapping the cord.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Carter asked.

“Of course,” Jack nodded, putting the receiver back in the box with the other good packs.

“The real reason I give you the same receiver ever year, the way we always got stuck in the same cabins, why I started coming here in the first place…” he slicked his hair back, “Christ, this is embarrassing.”

“What?” Jack felt a pang. He was pretty sure he knew what was coming and he wasn’t really sure what he’d do about it.

“I like you,” Carter looked him square in the eye. “I always have.”

“What do you mean?”

“I like you,” he repeated. “I know, I try not to put a lot of emphasis on my sexuality here, because I don’t really believe sexuality is like a fluid thing –I like everyone. Girls, guys, whatever…but, I’ve had a huge crush on you and since this is probably my last summer here…I thought I should tell you.”

“Carter, I have a boyfriend.”

“I know, the timing isn’t great, but I figured: no time like the present, right?” Carter cast his eyes downwards. “I don’t expect you to feel the same way about me or anything. I just wanted to put it out there.”

“I…I have to go,” Jack got up from the chair. “Um, good luck with the other receivers. I’ll send in K to help you out if I see him.” He escaped from the sound booth before either of them could say something he might come to regretting later.

He stopped by the cabin to shove his cell phone into his pocket and then stalked out into the woods to think. He climbed the huge hill that over looked the camp. Everything looked so pretty from up there. A jumble of cabins and other buildings were carefully laid out. He took a few seconds to make a decision before flipping open his phone. He let it load up, and he could just barely get three bars of reception; more than enough to make a call home, and he scrolled down his contacts to Taylor.

She answered on the third ring.

“Hey! What’s up?” She asked.

“Um, I just got some free time, so I thought I’d give you a call,” he started. “what’s been happening at home?”

“Oh, well…” there was a note of hesitation in her voice. “I broke my arm yesterday.”

“What?! What happened?”

“My mom pushed me down the stairs,” she explained. “—Well, she claims it was an accident. But I still fractured it, pretty badly apparently. I’m in a cast and everything.”

“My god, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, but…”

“But?”

“I spent last night at Tucker’s house.”

Jack narrowed his eyebrows, slightly confused, “Oh…okay.”

“Nothing happened!” She promised, “It’s just…god, I’m so confused now. I mean, you weren’t here, and everything just seemed to happen in this huge blur. It was just instinct to go to him. And the ladies from Child Welfare suggested that my Mom and I be separated for the night to cool off, and Lucy –that’s Tucker’s Mom, said I could stay with them.”

“Uh huh,” he was still slowly processing.

“You already know I still like him, Jack. Don’t sound so disappointed in me.”

“Did you do something with him?”

“We just kissed…a few times.”

“Jesus, Taylor, I called you hoping for a break from the drama,” he sighed, sinking down onto the ground. “I just had some guy that I’ve known since I was like ten tell me he’s had a crush on me –and now my girlfriend is telling me she’s making out with her ex.”

“We didn’t make out, Jack!”

“No, you know what –this is fine,” Jack shook his head. “This wasn’t going to work anyway, was it? It was just fooling around. I don’t even know why I’m upset about this. There weren’t any real feelings between us were there?”

“Jack, don’t be like that,” she started. “Of course I like you.”

“Yeah, you like me as a friend. I can turn you on, I can get you off, but you’re never going to love me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry I called you… enjoy the rest of your summer with Tucker.” He ended the hall with a sharp jab of his thumb on the touch screen and then held down the power button to shut it off. And there it was, granted only a month or so long, but a relationship gone; completely dashed away by an ill-timed broken arm.

Jack continued to sit up at the top of the hill for a little while longer until he finally brought himself to his feet. If he hurried, he figured he could catch the end of the Improv tournament and then dinner before full cast rehearsals. If he was lucky, he could avoid seeing Carter until it was time to turn in –and then, it wouldn’t be hard to tune him out with a set of ear buds and his iPod.

“You sounded really good at practice today, Jacqueline,” Carter said, trying to hook Jack into a conversation as he was changing for bed. It was late; the campers had all mostly crawled into bed after the rehearsal had ended, but Jack had opted for a shower, getting dressed in the bath house.

Jack ignored him, sticking his ear buds into his ears, and crawling under the thin covers of the camp cot.

“Oh, c’mon!” Carter pulled a white wife beater over his head, and pulled off his the dogtags, which he stashed on his shelf. “Are you still all panty-bunched about earlier?”

“Sorry, can’t hear you; memorizing lyrics,” Jack pointed at the ear buds before pulling open the music book that accompanied the script.

“Damn it Jack,” Carter pulled the book away and jerked the ear buds out.

“Ouch! Watch it, Carter!” He reached up to rub his ears.

“Stop acting like an ass,” Carter lowered his voice so that they wouldn’t disturb the boys in the next room.

“I’m not acting any different than usual,” Jack pulled back the music book. “I legitimately have to learn these songs, okay.”

“You’ve had that music memorized for days now,” he scoffed.

“What do you want, Carter?” Jack sighed.

“This,” he put his hands on either side of Jack’s face and leaned forward to press their lips together.

Jack was caught off guard. It was soft, and he could detect a hint of Carmex™ on Carter’s lips. A deep breath brought in a scent of Old Spice body wash that the boy used. He felt the kiss go on for longer than he really should have and he finally forced his hands up to Carter’s shoulders and a steady pressure there finally sent Carter backwards.

“That…no,” Jack shook his head. “I’m not doing this with you.”

“What?” Carter asked.

“I’m not having some stupid summer fling with you. We’ll go home after the summer and you’ll dump me –and I’m sick of getting dumped.”

“Jack, are you okay?”

“No, I’m not,” Jack jabbed the buds back into his ears. “Now just leave me alone and go to bed, okay? You’re on firefighting duty tonight.” He shifted under the covers, snapped off the side lamp, and pulled the covers up over his head. After tapping play, he could just barely hear Carter shuffling around on his side of the room before the other lamp finally clicked off, and Jack was left alone in his bed, with the tones of the musical soundtrack filling his ears.

Back at home, Taylor had spent her first day with a broken arm, cooped up in her room watching television and bad movies. The call from Jack had put her into a foul mood. She didn’t quite understand what had gotten into him. But, from the sounds of it, she was free to pursue the whole “Tucker thing” now. And as great as that was –not having to deal with the drama of cheating and two-timing, it was still rather confusing. But, she supposed, that’s what happened when people were hundreds of miles apart as teenagers…

She looked up at the knock on the door, “Yeah?”

“Honey, can you come down stairs for a minute? Your Mom and I want to talk to you.” Charles stuck his head in the door.

“Sure,” she nodded, reaching for the remote to flip off the TV. She shuffled out of bed and made her way downstairs. Upon reaching the living room, she noted how far away from each other her parents were sitting on the couch. She took the chair across from them and folded her arms across her stomach to wait.

“Taylor, your mom and I have decided to undergo a trial separation.”

“You’re getting divorced,” she corrected.

“No, not yet,” Charles shook his head. “Your Mom is moving out; she spent the day looking for an apartment. She’ll be staying a few nights in a motel. Along with our suggested family counseling, your Mom and I will also be going to see a marriage councilor.”

“And you’re doing this because of me?” Taylor asked.

“Not necessarily,” Patricia finally spoke up. “Our family has been rocky for a long time, Jon. You may not have noticed, but your Dad and I are very, very different people.”

“Trust me, I’ve noticed,” Taylor agreed.

“This doesn’t bother you at all, does it?” Patricia asked. “Your parents are telling you they’re on the brink of separation, and you couldn’t care less.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Taylor shook her head. “Because now it will just be all that much easier to cut you out of my life, Mom. You don’t respect me, you don’t respect my choices or my lifestyle. Honestly, I should be thanking you –both of you. This will take one huge stressor out of my life now.”

“Taylor, don’t talk to her like that,” Charles chided. “She’s still your mother.”

“I’m not sure how you want me to address a woman who still refuses to call me my preferred name and gender-nouns. Who takes every opportunity to nag me about clothing, my hair, and everything else that I left behind when I decided to make this change.” She straightened in her seat. “—a woman who broke my arm by pushing me down the stairs.”

“I didn’t push you!” Patricia didn’t quite yell, but she wasn’t quiet either. “I barely touched you!”

“Well, I didn’t throw myself down them,” Taylor retorted.

“Obviously I can’t talk to you,” Patricia stood up, shaking her head. “Charlie, I’m going to finish packing and I’ll be out of here. I just…I can’t deal with all of this right now.”

The two let her go. Taylor averted her eyes while Charles watched her go. When the door upstairs had slammed shut, Charles finally turned back to his daughter.

“Taylor, you don’t have to be so hard on her.”

“I’m just being honest.” Taylor started picking at the fabric of the chair. “I’m tired of her always nagging on me about everything. Can’t someone just pretend that I’m normal for once?”

“She’s just very set in her ways.”

“I don’t understand how the two of you ever got married in the first place,” she shook her head. “You’re like polar opposites.”

“I was a different person when your Mom and I fell in love,” he told her. “But that doesn’t matter now…now we have to figure out how to re-mesh our personalities.”

“Well, you two have fun with that,” she shrugged, getting up from her chair. “I need to get out of the house for a bit. I’ll be back later; when she’s gone.”

“Be careful,” he called, not trying to stop her, but not hiding the note of disapproval in his voice either. She snaked her purse from the hooks near the door and fished out her keys before stepping outside. She wasn’t sure where to go, but she pulled out her cell phone from her pocket to shoot out a text.

“I’m not sure how I feel about this place,” Tucker looked around the strawberry colored themed candy shop and bakery. They had snagged a booth in the center after Taylor had bought a bag of Jelly Belly and a slice of blueberry pie each.

“Why? It’s super delicious,” Taylor stabbed her fork into her slice of pie. “Besides, pie solves all problems.”

“Are we having problems?”

“Well, lets see,” she started ticking off with pie stabs, “My mother broke my arm, Jack broke up with me, and now my parents are getting a divorce –oh, sorry, a trial separation.”

“Jack broke up with you?”

“Oh, of course you’ll zero in on that one,” she scoffed.

“No, what happened,” he asked. “—I mean, things were good, and I know we talked, but…still, I didn’t expect for it all to happen so fast. I was fine just being friends for awhile.”

She shrugged, “He called me today and I explained what had been happening, and…I don’t know, maybe its camp drama, but he was really upset about it.”

“Jeez,” Tucker shook his head. “I’m sorry, Taylor.”

“Not your fault,” she shrugged. “Besides, like I said: nothing pie can’t cure.” She savored a bite full.

“Still,” he poked at his own slice. “That sucks.”

“I’ll get over it,” she assured him. “Besides, now it means we don’t have to wait for this awkward thing to get over with. We can just do whatever we want and not have to worry about disappointing Jack when he gets home.”

“Are you really okay with that?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well…I don’t know, you just seemed like you wanted to wait last time. Why is it different now?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just kind of got over my anxiety when I was with Jack; no offence you to or anything.” She explained, “There are still parts of me that I’m afraid to share with you, but…that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you.”

“I’ll take it as slow as you want me to,” he reached across the table, pressing a hand on top of hers. “I’m not going to rush you into something.”

“I know,” she smiled, linking fingers with him. “Now, eat your pie.”

Jack accepted the stack of mail a few days later, from Sig, who took it upon himself to sort through the mail bag every day and deliver everything to the cabins. “Thanks Sig.”

“No problem,” the old guy gave a big toothy grin. He was starting to bald on top, and what was left of his hair was going grey, but you could still see that he had once been an extremely handsome man. “I think you’ve got a letter in there from your beau.”

Jack frowned, “Doubtful, but thanks.” He turned, letting the cabin door smack closed behind him. It was Saturday, and the designated ‘day off’. People were still practicing in the dance studio, but it was more peer work than a rehearsal, but mostly people were swimming or hiking; something to relax. He flipped through the letters and packages, tossing them onto the camper’s beds. The bottom of the pile did indeed consist of a letter post marked from Lake Elmwood, and a return address to Taylor Green.

He took the letter into the privacy of his and Carter’s room, and kicked back on his bed to read it.

Jack,

Since I’m not sure how best to contact you while you’re at camp, I asked your Mom to give me the address. When you hung up on me yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. I want to let you know that I didn’t do anything with Tucker while we were together.

Going to him was a knee-jerk reaction; he’s my only friend that’s home over the summer. He’s really my only friend at all since Deena and Tina stopped talking to me after Prom. He’s the only one who knows my secret so far besides the GSA kids.

Yes, I kissed him. Several times. But I wasn’t going to start anything with him before I had the chance to talk with you.

I’m sorry that your summer doesn’t seem to be going very well. I hope you’ll still invite me to see your finalized production. You sounded so excited when you were firs telling me that you were doing the Wizard of Oz.

I still consider you one of my best friends, and I have since I started attending CHS. I miss you a lot, and I wish we could hash this out face-to-face, but I guess a letter is all I can do. Give me a call or text me when you’re ready to talk.

Love,

Taylor

Jack sighed, folding the paper back up and sticking it on his shelf. He threw himself back into his pillow and thought for a few minutes. When that didn’t seem to help sort through everything, he decided a work out would be better. He popped in his ear buds, tightened the laces on his shoes, and took out of the cabin a slow jog toward the woods.

Across the yard, Carter watched him exit the cabins. They hadn’t really spoken other than camp business since they’d kissed. He wasn’t one for jogging, but he knew if he didn’t take the chance to follow, he might go the rest of the summer with Jack only saying things like “Mic Six is sending a lot of static” or “Light three is flickering”. He stepped lightly, taking his time to catch up with Jack as he made his way through the well-worn jogging path through woods.

“Hey!” He finally reached to tap Jack on the shoulder. Jack jumped, turning around to see who was following him, and pulling out his ear buds.

“Jesus, you scared the hell out of me, Northstar,” Jack paused, catching his breath and fumbling with his ear buds.

“Sorry,” Carter shoved his hands into his pockets. “I just…I knew if I stopped you before you started running, you’d probably just get mad at me again.”

“What’s to say I won’t just get mad at you now?”

“Well, we’re alone in the woods,” he shrugged. “If you want to yell at me, you should probably do it here.”

“I don’t want to yell at you, Carter,” Jack shook his head. “I just want to blow off some steam.”

“So…you’re jogging?”

“You have a better idea?”

“I might have a few,” he shrugged.

Jack stared at him for a moment, wrapping the cord of his ear buds around his neck, “You know what…I’ve got a great idea for some stress relief too.”

“…Does this end in bodily harm?” Carter took a step back.

“No, why would you say that?”

“Because you’ve got this sort of vindictive look in your face.”

“Oh, sorry,” Jack blinked. “I was just thinking, maybe a bit in a vindictive manner, that…if you’re serious, I do know how you could help me kill off a little stress.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah, really,” he nodded. “Follow me; I know a private little place off the path.”

Carter was a little hesitant, but he followed a long at a slow jog as Jack led him a little further up the track, then cut through some felled trees. They crossed behind a few large trees, and finally circled the large hill that many of the campers used to up their cell-phone reception. Carter found he’d never ventured the other side of the hill, and there was an over-hang of sorts, created by foliage and trees, that kept the site well out of view from anyone above, and it would be nearly impossible to penetrate the area without alerting those within.

“You come here often?” He asked.

“I discovered it my first year here,” Jack leaned back against the rough wall created by the hill. “When I was young, it was a great place to come and think, practice my lines where no one could hear me.”

“And now that you’re older?” he asked.

“Now that I’m older, it’s a great place to bring boys.”

“Oh,” Carter flushed. “You do that often?”

“No,” Jack shook his head. “I just know what I want and go for it.”

“And are you going for it right now?”

“I haven’t quite decided if you’re worth it yet, but you made the offer of stress relief so…” he shrugged, wrapping the ear buds around his iPod before tucking it back into his pocket for safe keeping.

“What did you have in mind?” Carter asked nervously.

Jack gave a sly grin, stepping forward. He wrapped an arm around Carter’s neck and pulled him forward to press their lips together. Carter nearly melted. They’d kissed before, but with Jack fully on board, it was a completely different matter all together. He could taste the want, and feel every inch of him as they pressed together. Their feet stumbled over the brush and leaves that lined the alcove, and Jack pushed him into the crevice created by the tree branches and the wall.

“Whoa,” Carter sighed as Jack finally realized him for breath. “That…I never expected, wow.”

“You liked that?” He asked, his breath warm against Carter’s neck. “I’m offering a lot more.”

“R-really?”

“Whatever you want,” Jack promised.

“Are you sure you aren’t a little slutty?”

Jack grinned, “No, I’m not. You made it clear that you were interested. I don’t go after boys whom I would just be wasting my time with.” He trailed his hand down the front of Carter’s shirt. “Do you want to or not?”

“I…this is really fast.”

“I know. Do you want to?” he repeated.

“I’m a man, of course I want to.”

“Will you?”

“Jeez, Jack,” he sighed. “I just…” Carter found himself conflicted. “I want to, I really do.”

“Then, let’s do it,” he countered. His fingers moved under Carter’s t-shirt, drawing it up over his head. He hung it on a tree branch before lowering his mouth to let his tongue encircle one peach nipple. Carter groaned, his fingers tightening on the back of Jack’s shirt.

“Wait, wait,” his clenched fists moved to Jack’s shoulders as he started to lower himself down to unbuckle the belt at the waist of his cargo shorts. “Shouldn’t we set some like boundaries, ground rules or something.”

“I’m going to suck your dick, Carter. Are you really worried about ground rules?”

“Well, I mean, how far are we going to take this? And is this a one-time thing?”

“Nevermind, Carter,” he sighed, standing back up. He plucked the t-shirt from the tree and shoved it back at him. “If I knew you were going to be such a pansy about the whole thing, I would have never brought you here.”

“Jack, I want to!” He promised, tossing the shirt back. “I just…it’s just nerves, okay. Doing this is all I’ve thought about for as long as I’ve known you; but that doesn’t make me any less of a nervous wreck about it.”

“I just want to get you off, Carter,” Jack shook his head, starting to unravel his ear buds again. “It would have been a nice release. No big deal. I better be getting back to camp anyway; I told Steve that we could work on some of his choreography.”

“Wait,” Carter reached for him. “—You’re the one who needs it, right? Let me do it.”

“You want to blow me?” Jack raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I…I don’t know, I get all weird when someone tries to go down on me. It just makes me nervous, but I like doing it myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” he nodded, a bit enthusiastically.

“All right,” Jack nodded. “Show me what you’ve got, Northstar. They swapped places and Jack leaned up against the wall. Carter used his t-shirt to knee on as he genuflected in front of Jack. He paused in anxiousness just for a moment before drawing down the zipper on the boy’s black shorts, and pushing them aside. They fell down around Jack’s knees, and he pulled up his t-shirt to show off a nice set of abs and smooth skin.

Cater leaned forward to kiss the expanse of derma above the waistband of Jack’s trunks. His fingers ran across the front of the fabric, V-ing the appendance hidden underneath. Even only half-hard, it was fairly impressive. He stroked him through the fabric as his fingers started working on hardening his partner.

“Oh god, just do it already,” Jack breathed, closing his eyes.

“My pleasure,” Carter assured him. He finally drew the fabric down over Jack’s hips, and the boys cock popped free, standing at attention. Like he’d thought, it was impressive. He didn’t waste much time before cupping the scrotum in his hands and opening his mouth to accept it into his mouth. Jack sighed with pleasure as Carter’s lips wrapped around him. His fingers moved deftly, rubbing and stroking his balls and shaft while his lips and tongue focused on the head, especially the tenderly sensitive underside.

It was over more quickly than Jack had really wanted it to be, but Carter was turning out to be far more adept at the skill than he’d expected. He shrugged back into his clothes and caught his panting breaths.

“Feel better now?” Carter asked, standing up from his sore knees and shaking his shirt free of leaves and dirt.

“A little bit,” Jack nodded. “Thanks.”

“Christ, I never thought a guy would thank me for a BJ,” Carter shook his head, pulling his shirt back over his head.

“You sure I can reciprocate for you?”

“Not right now,” Carter shook his head. “Rain check it for later.”

“All right,” Jack nodded. “I’ll do that –this was fun. But I really should meet up with Steve.”

“When can we do this again?” Carter encircled his wrist, pulling him back.

Jack licked his lip, thinking it over, “Who knows. Maybe later today…tonight…tomorrow. You just let me know when the mood strikes.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Carter’s cheek. “See you around, Northstar.” He started walking out of the alcove and started a light jog back to the path, and back towards camp.

Carter let him go, putting a little space between them before he finally took off at a jog of his own.

“I think we should go on a road trip together,” Tucker suggested. They were in the park, lounging under a tree on the hill above the lake edge. It was fairly quiet for a nice, breezy summer day in Lake Elmwood, but they weren’t going to complain.

“A road trip?” she asked, looking up from her book. They’d decided to work on reading Ivanhoe together. It wasn’t going well.

“Yeah. Take a week, drive to the capital. Camp a little. Get out of Lake Elmwood.”

“I don’t know, Tucker…Being transgender and camping doesn’t really travel well.”

“Then…I don’t know, take it easy for a week. I know the transition stresses you out; just be you for the day. Minimalize a little. “

“Minimalize isn’t a word…”

“You know what I mean!” He cast a dark look over. “You don’t need all the make-up and the falsies to be a girl you know.”

“When would you want to go on this trip, exactly?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Maybe next week? I’ve got some cash saved up; we can just drive.”

“Or…my Dad is leaving for a three day conference in San Francisco next Thursday. We can hang out at my house.”

“Only if you promise to chill out about everything,” Tucker closed his book, tossing it aside in the grass. “Go for three days without make up, without worrying about looking mannish,” he reached over, pulling her hair back from her face. “You fret too much!”

“Okay, okay,” she nodded. “You’ll come over Thursday night, and…I’ll wear absolutely nothing for three days.” She grinned, and he rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t even come close to being able to marathon for three days…well, okay, I’m young, so maybe, but still.”

“Still,” she continued, tossing her own book aside, “we’ll have the house completely to ourselves, so…perfect opportunity for exploration, right?”

“Right,” he agreed. “So…next Thursday then.”

“Yep, sounds good.”

“So…I guess that means that I should maybe pick up some supplies?”

“…Supplies?”

“You know…like…stuff.”

“Like…food? My Dad will totally stock the house, and leave cash for pizza.”

“No, like…that stuff.”

She smirked, “Okay, now I’m just being mean, but –Tucker, whatever do you mean?”

“You are just being mean,” he leaned forward to kiss her. “But should I?”

“If you want. You seem kind of nervous about it…I can do it too, if you want.”

“No, I mean, that should be like my job, right?”

“It doesn’t have to be,” she shrugged. “We can go together if you want.”

“No, no I can handle it,” he nodded. “I’ll go later tonight. My Mom probably has a grocery list as long as my arm –I’ll offer to go take care of it while she’s at work.”

“So you can hide it in with the groceries –and hat if your Mom looks at the receipt?”

Tucker bit his lip, “Why do you have to be such a kill-joy?”

“I’m sorry,” she pressed her lips to his for just a brief moment. “I’ll stop making fun of you. Your plan is fool proof. Your Mom probably won’t even notice a couple of extra items in her grocery receipt.”

“No, she probably won’t.”

“Just…don’t be embarrassing and buy like one of the huge multipacks, or one of the little mini-packs…I mean, go for a standard box. Because otherwise the cashier is going to think you’re just sleeping with some slutty girl, or that you’re a total slut.”

“But, don’t I get a better deal if I buy an economy sized pack?”

She laughed, pushing away from him, “Where are you going to hide a pack of like thirty condoms, Tucker?”

“I don’t know, in my underwear drawer?”

“You’re silly,” she shook her head. “But c’mon; I better get home. I’ve got my first therapy appointment in like an hour.”

“Oh right, I almost forgot about that.” He got up and held out a hand, pulling her to her feet. “It’s the first time you’re seeing your Mom in almost a week.”

“Yep,” she nodded. “Apparently she got a job doing some accounting for one of the warehouses.”

“Good for her,” Tucker nodded. “At least she seems to have landed on her feet. My Aunt went through a separation-divorce about two years ago…My Mom told her she could stay with us –hence all the yellow in the guest room, which is my Aunt’s favorite color. After about three months, she still was fired from her job and just hung out at the house all, moping.”

“God, I hope my Mom doesn’t mope,” she sighed, shaking her head. “Don’t get me wrong –my Mom has been awful to me the last year or so, but she’s still my Mom.”

“I understand,” he nodded. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home.”

They picked up their books and folded up the blanket they’d been lounging on before heading back for Tucker’s pick-up. The drive was quick, and he parked at the end of the drive way while Taylor grabbed her books. She leaned across to kiss his cheek before slipping out of the cab.

“Call you later,” she promised.

“I’ll be awaiting anxiously,” he replied.

Then Tucker got home, Lucy was just getting ready for work.

“Hey Mom,” he sidled up to her. “I was going to make a junk food run; was there any groceries you wanted me to pick up?”

“Oh, would you honey?” She brightened. “I’m sorry that everything has been so crazy lately, I haven’t been able to pick up groceries.” She picked up her purse and pulled out a notepad. “I’ve been jotting stuff down as we’ve been running out –it’s pretty long. You sure you can handle this by yourself?”

“Sure,” he nodded. “No big deal.”

“All right,” she handed it over. “Take this, and my debit card.”

“All right,” he nodded.

“Try not to go over five hundred dollars,” she gave him a pointed look.

“Jeez Mom, how long is this list?!”

“I’m teasing, it shouldn’t be much over a hundred or so.” She patted his arm. “I’ll see you later.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Gotta dash, or I’ll be late, and you know how Milly gets when I’m late.”

“See you later Mom, have a nice day at work.” He started flipping through the notepad, glancing over the list. He waited a few minutes as Lucy pulled her car out of the garage and started to make her way to work.

He poked around the house, eating what was left of some meatloaf for a late lunch. He started to worry about how Taylor’s therapy session was going. She’d told him they’d blocked it so that one day a week, Taylor was getting both her personal session as well as the family session out of the way. Her parents were meeting separately on another day, and then their marriage counseling was taking place after those. It all sounded very complicated to him, but he was relieved that she was seeking some kind of help. There were times when he couldn’t help but feel like she wasn’t totally serious about the girl thing.

But he couldn’t say any of that to her, so she’d take it the wrong the way.

He putzed around the house a little longer before he finally picked his keys back up and headed out the truck. He knew if stayed around the house much longer, he’d just keeping putting himself off. He jacked up the radio on the way to the Lake Elmwood Wal-Mart on the other side of town. He pulled the note pad out of his pocket to review it again as he entered, grabbing a cart and heading into the store. For a mid-June day, it was fairly quiet, which was felt odd from the usual hustle-and-bustle of the store. He went around, collecting soda, chips, canned goods, frozen peas, until he had gotten everything on the list. Then, it was time to man up. He tried to look normal and relaxed as he made his way over to the pharmacy area. Tucked in the back was what looked like a huge wall of various lubes, condoms, and things he wasn’t even sure what the hell were for.

He tried to look busy, looking at the band-aids that were stocked nearby as he slyly checked out the array. He realized he had no clue what the heck the difference was between all of them. What if he got the wrong kind? He sucked in a breath and decided to seriously man up and take a real look. Even then, everything looked basically the same. Finally he just shook his head and grabbed a bottle of the store brand lubrication, even though the bottle looked gigantic next to the all of the teeny-tiny bottles of KY and Astrogel. Then he tossed in a box of Trojan, which were the only brand he had ever heard of anyway.

He tapped his fingers nervously as he went to the check-pout counter. He chose a rather young looking woman with a her hair pulled back into a severe looking bun to be his cashier. He loaded up all the groceries, placing his secreted supplies in the middle of the order, between some canned peas and a carton of beef broth. Much to his relief, and possibly a big of dismay, she didn’t seem to notice, except to wipe them across her deactivator, which gave an excited “bong!” and to wrap the items together in a smaller plastic bag before tossing them inside with the other groceries. He made a mental note as to their location as he started counting out bills to pay for his own portion of the goodies.

She waited patiently as he forked over twenty bucks in fives and ones, then swiped Lucy’s debit card. He scrawled her signature –something he’d been quite good at for awhile. Then, she handed over the receipt with a smile and a cheery, “Have a nice night!”…at two-thirty in the afternoon.

He thought about that on the way home. Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue –she told everyone to have a nice night regardless of the time of day.. It couldn’t possibly have been an overture at his purchase. She had no idea he wasn’t buying those for someone else. He tapped his fingers impatiently, more and more unsure about the whole thing.

“Hey bro, you want help with those groceries?” Rachel was leaning at the kitchen counter eating saltines out of the package.

“No!” He said a little more sharply than he had intended. “…I mean, no, I’ve got.”

“…Okay. You’re being weird. What do you do?” Rachel raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t do anything! I just want to do it myself, okay?”

“You hate putting away groceries…”

“Well not all of it is house stuff, okay. I bought some of my own stuff!” He gave himself a good swift mental kick for not swapping his purchases into a separate bag while he was out at the truck.

“Right,” she nodded. “Well, if you change your mind, give a shout.” The cracker package crinkled as she tore it open more to pull out another saltine to shove into her mouth as she passed. “Want one?”

“No thanks,” he shook his head. She continued on her way past him and settled into the living room, flicking on the TV for some day-time crap show.

He stealthily swapped his little package into a bag with some Swiss rolls and chips he’d picked up for himself. Then he stowed it away on the counter, well within eye shot as he put away the rest of the massive amount of groceries. He kept an ear tuned to the living room where Rachel was laughing and running commentary to herself. Finally, when the last empty plastic Wal-Mart bag was shoved into the bag-lady storage on the back of the basement door, he escaped upstairs, two steps at time with his sweets and prophylactics.

He barred himself in his room, stashing the chips and Swiss rolls in his bottom desk drawer, where he also hid stash of candy bars, Fruit Roll Ups, and gushers that his Mom didn’t know about. Then he took a look his purchases. The bottle of lube looked even more huge, and he couldn’t believe he’d bought one that big. Looking over it, he realized he’d never used lube before. He had occasionally lotioned up his hands before going to it, but he’d always done just fine without it….he wondered if it really made that big of a difference. He slid a glance at the clock, wondering if Taylor had ever tried it out…she seemed to be more exploratory than he was. She’d probably know… Or, rather than both her, he supposed he could try it out for himself…

He locked his bedroom door, and hid the box of condoms, which we was still not completely sure about, in the back of his underwear drawer. He’d experiment with those later. He pulled his shades down and then his dark curtains over it. Then he flipped on the lamp beside his bed and tried to relax against the pillows. The box opened easily enough and he peeled off the plastic safety seal. He loosened his jeans and shimmied them down a bit, just to free himself from them. Then he tested a few drops of the clear gel-like substance on his fingers. It felt…odd. Slick, smooth, and slippery –and even just those few drops brought the phrase ‘a little goes a long way’ to mind. He wasn’t sure when he should put it ‘down there’, so he did some test stroking, just enjoying the moment for a little bit, before finally putting a tiny amount on his finger tips, then spreading it down the length of his shaft and rubbing it all over his member. It was a little cooler than he expected, but it started to warm up, and he coaxed it along. His hand glided over his skin like he’d never imagined it could. He closed his eyes, leaning back into his pillow. He started day dreaming –naked bodies, touching, kissing, fucking. No faces, just movement and heat. His thoughts ran wild, and he started trying to pace himself a little better. The lube made it easier for his hand to move, which meant faster movements –which made it harder to chill out… He added a little more when it started to dry, and was almost there…just on the bring…

BZZT!

“Fuck!” He swore, jumping as his cell phone started to skitter across the desk where he’d thrown it when he’d escaped to the room. The moment was ruined. He capped the lube again, getting up to hide it in the back of his sock drawer with the box of condoms. Then he wiped his hands on a towel from his clothes hamper and finally went to look at his phone.

Mothers…can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without them.

Taylor laughed when he told her about his little excursion with the lube later that night over the phone.

“It’s not funny! I was completely mortified!”

“It’s not like she walked in on you or something,” she reminded him. “That would be embarrassing!”

“Shut up. That’s not even funny!”

“Hey, I’m just telling you the honest truth. …So, did you like it?”

“Like what?”

“The lube.”

“Oh…I don’t know. It was different.”

“What kind did you get?”

“Umm, just the store brand personal lubrication stuff,” he picked the package up out of the trash. “Should I have gotten something else?”

“No, as long as it’s water based, it’s fine.”

“That’s what the box says…what’s the difference?”

“Petroleum base is really bad; it’s like foreign to your skin, so you could like break out from and stuff.”

“Then why do they even make lube out of it?”

“Heck if I know. Someone just thought it would be a good idea and people went with it. What kind of condoms did you buy?”

“Some basic looking Trojan things.”

“You aren’t allergic to latex or anything are you? I didn’t even think about mentioning that to you today.”

“I don’t think so…are you?”

“Not the last that I checked” she assured him. “But latex is tricky –you can just suddenly develop it, so I tend to avoid it.”

“Shit, why didn’t you tell me before?”

“No, it’s fine, really, don’t worry about it. It’s just be being me. You did fine.”

“Are you sure? I can go back and get something else.”

“Tucker, it sounds like you had it hard enough the first time.” Then she laughed again. “Oh man, hard enough the first time.”

“You’re terrible, you know that? A really awful person.”

“I’m amazing,” she retorted. “So what else did you get up to today after I we parted?”

“Not much; just shopping, groceries, and being totally mortified at my mother’s poor timing."

Taylor laughed, “I’m sorry. I’ll do it next time, I promise.”

There was a brief silence before Tucker cleared his throat, “Is it weird that I’m kind of nervous. I mean, we talked about it before, but then we broke up, and now you’ve been with Jack…”

“I wasn’t with Jack,” she clarified. “We fooled around, but it was more like a couple of guys jerking each other off. I want…I don’t know what I want, but I just know that with you, it’s going to be different. I’m not going to like revert back into Jonathan just because he wants it.”

“Are you sure you’re gender dysphoric and not schizophrenic?”

The was silence on the other end and he was worried for a moment that he had offended her, but then she spoke up, “You know, that’s probably a very valid observation, but I can assure you that I have only one personality, and I rarely talk to myself…much.”

“I was just teasing you.”

“I know,” he could hear her smile. “But as for your original question, no, it’s not weird. It’s totally normal.”

“Oh, good,” he sighed. “I was worried.”

“Anyway, do you want to do something tomorrow?”

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

“How about movie and lunch at the mall?”

“What’s playing?”

“Heck if I know.”

He laughed, “All right, we can go moonlight as mall rats for the day.”

“Sounds excellent,” she agreed. “How about I drive? I’ll pick you up at noon?”

“All right. I suppose, I should let you go then; it’s getting late.”

“You just want to go back to playing Madden or something.”

“Maybe a little bit,” he agreed. “But I really think I’m just going to crawl into bed.”

“And try out more of the—”

“You just shut your mouth right there, lady,” his warning was mostly kidding. “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t, but I certainly won’t be sharing that information with you anymore.”

“Aw,” he could picture her pout, “why not? I enjoy hearing that kind of information.”

“I’m sure you do…but if you’re lucky, you’ll get firsthand experience after you Dad leaves for his conference.”

“And I look forward to it. Have fun with your video game; I’ll talk to you later.”

“G’night.” He waited until he heard the click and then hung up his phone as well. He shifted in bed, picking up the television remote and the Xbox controller. Maybe what he needed to get over his jitters was a nice mind-numbing night of pointless gaming. Yeah, that sounded like a great idea.

The camp was eerily quiet, just past midnight. Lights out at ten o’clock, which meant the boys were whispering and laughing for at least an hour afterwards. Jack had warned them to shut up at least twice, but they finally settled, and Carter could hear them breathing softly or snoring as the case may be. Across the gap between their beds, Carter could hear Jack breathing too. He couldn’t quite tell if he was asleep or not. He shifted, glancing over at his fellow councilor. Jack was laying towards the wall, snuggled down into his blankets. Carter gave a sigh, turning back to stare up at the ceiling.

Jack hadn’t said more than ten words to him since they’d gotten back to camp after their sexcapade in the woods, and that had been two days ago. He’d tried to keep his mind off it by working on the sound boards; he’d heard so many different sound effects for wind, it was a wonder he wasn’t dreaming about it –when he could fall asleep. He let out another sigh and shifted.

“Would you stop fidgeting? You’re as bad as the kids,” Jack grumbled softly, rolling over onto his stomach and running his fingers over his hair in annoyance.

“Sorry,” Carter whispered back. “I can’t seem to fall asleep.”

“Well, close your eyes and try.”

Carter pursed his lips and turned onto his side. It was like some fairy tale; the way the moonlight streamed in through the window and gave Jack’s face that angelic complexion. It only lasted for a moment or so though because Jack’s eyes fluttered open and he stared back for a few seconds.

“You’re really creepy lately, Carter.”

“…Sorry.”

“What do you want? You seem hell bent on keeping me awake.”

“I don’t know…shouldn’t we talk about, you know, what happened. You’ve said barely anything to me in two days.”

“Because what happened was a mistake and shouldn’t have happened; I took frustrations I have with Taylor, out on you because you were there and easily manipulated.”

“I’m pretty sure I should be offended by that.”

“Probably,” he agreed. “It’s not going to happen again, Carter. It would…it would never work out well. We’re fall-weather friends.”

“It’s summer.”

“I mean that, you’re only interested in me because I am convenient right now. When we’re at home, I don’t exist to you. I’m not going to fool around with you at camp just because we can. What would happen when the summer ended –really?”

Carter gave a slight nod, “You’re right. It’s doomed from the beginning; I’m a total ass-hat when we’re at home. …But, should that really stop us from having a good time while we’re here?”

“And by having a good time, you mean screwing around.”

“You said it, not me.”

“Go to sleep, Carter. Seriously.”

“No, I’m like wide awake now.”

“Yeah, well, I’m tired, so…good night,” Jack flumped back to face the wall. Carter sighed again, a little more softly and turned over as well, keeping temptation to his back. …Which was a nice thought, but not entirely plausible. He could still hear Jack rustling, and then the slow heavy breathing of a sleeper –while he remained wide awake.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he drifted off in a sleepless slumber. He awoke the next morning feeling sluggish, but the sunlight was now directed in his face and he could hear Jack rummaging around, getting ready for the day.

“About time you woke up,” he tossed. “I’ve been banging around here as loud as I could for five minutes. You’re like a brick; if hadn’t heard you breathing, I might have thought you were dead.”

“Sorry, I didn’t sleep well.” Carter grumbled.

“Yeah, well, that happens when you let your dick try to control your life,” Jack’s voice had a slightly warning tone in it. “I’ve got early choreography this morning, so you’re in charge of getting the campers where they need to be. My clipboard is on my bed.”

“Jack,” he sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“I’m running late,” Jack slipped into his VANs. “Make it quick.”

“Why are you so against me liking you?”

“I’m not against it, I just don’t feel the same way.”

“But what about the woods?”

“Like I told you last night, you were there, convenient and I was upset. Forget about it; shit happens, okay?” Jack shrugged. “I like you too, Carter, when you’re not being a gigantic homophobic asshole. If you were the nice, sweet guy that I know you are at camp, maybe I would take you a little more seriously.”

“How can I prove to you that I am?”

Jack shrugged, “That’s up to you. –Now I really have to go, don’t forget about the clipboard.” He adjusted a baseball cap over his eyes before stalking out of the cabin. Carter sighed, throwing himself back into his pillows to think so more.

Jack wasn’t sure why exactly he was putzing around outside of the mailbox, near the edge of camp. Writing back to Taylor hadn’t been hard. Sort of. He still felt sort of betrayed. In a way, fooling around with Carter in the woods had just reminded him that –that’s really all he had been doing with Taylor too. Fooling around. They hadn’t been serious. There wasn’t any future there. And granted, he was only seventeen years old, but…he wanted a guy he could see going to college with, living together, maybe eventually getting married and adopting babies with. And yeah, that was crazy at his age, but it was a life goal.

Besides, as much as he hated to admit it, Taylor and Tucker needed each other more than he needed her and vice-versa. Tucker needed a shield, as flimsy as it was, and Taylor needed someone who could make her feel like her. Tucker was certainly a gentleman, or attempted to be one at any rate.

He wished he had the guts to just call her and apologize for the way he’d acted when he got the news. But, he couldn’t bring himself to take out his cell phone and trek into the woods –too close to the scene of the crime with Carter. And that whole debacle was a completely different problem… It baffled him completely how such a jackass could do a total three-sixty depending on the environment. Lake Elmwood-Carter wouldn’t look at him twice, much less confess love to him…or extreme like in any case. He unquestionably wouldn’t have given him a blow job in the woods. And yet, there it was, a memory just at the forefront of his mind, every waking moment the last two days.

He gave his head a good shake and posted the letter with a good clang to be sure that there was no turning back from sending it. Then he walked deftly away towards his rehearsal. He couldn’t believe nearly a month of summer was gone already. The production was going well so far and no major mishaps had happened. But he shouldn’t jinx that by talking about.

He tried to lose himself in dance moves. As the Scarecrow, he had to be a little more loose-and-tumble than the other cast members. His costume had been fitted with knee and elbow pads underneath the fabric of the denim shirt and trousers. Raffia hung out of cleverly placed holes, as well as the hems and cuffs to give him a stuffed look. He loved the costume; it was delightfully authentic. He had spent the day before in the make-up studio, letting the crew try different paints and taking pictures until they found one that they liked the best. He was excited for the show, which was still two weeks away.

It wasn’t until lunch time, when his stomach started to grumble relentlessly that he remembered he’d never eaten breakfast. He excused himself from the dance studio to grab something to eat. Sig encouraged him to take the rest of the day for himself.

“You work too hard; it’s summer camp! It’s supposed to be fun!” He’s said, clapping him on the shoulder.

“This is fun,” Jack reminded him. “—But you’re right, maybe I’ll go for a swim. Or a nap.”

“Oh yeah, we could all use a nap,” Sig agreed. “Go on and eat something; you’re practically a twig!” He shoo’d him towards the mess hall and Jack went quite willingly.

He almost changed his mind when Carter saw him and made a beeline straight for him.

“What do you want, Carter? I’m starving,” Jack didn’t stop walking towards the smell of hot dogs and potato chips.

“I know how to make you realize I’m serious about my feelings,” he had to jog a little to keep pace with Jack’s long, determined strides.

“Oh?” Jack asked, slapping open the door of the mess hall. It was fairly quiet, being a bit late for lunch, but there were still a few campers milling about expectantly for seconds. Or thirds.

“I scored some Skype time on Marge’s computer for tonight.”

Jack frowned, loading a plate with a hamburger, some baked beans, tater tots, and then grabbed a juice bottle, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m going to tell Tucker that I’m…”

“Tell Tucker you’re what?”

“Bi.”

Jack laughed, “That is such a cop-out!”

“I’m not gay,” Carter shrugged. “I mean, I like girls. You…you’re just different.”

“Sure,” Jack nodded. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“I’m texting him this afternoon to be online at seven o’clock tonight. Meet me at the admin.”

“Fine, but how do you know that Tucker will even show? He’s probably busy with other stuff. And besides, he hates you.”

“He’ll be there,” Carter promised. “Will you?”

Jack slid onto a bench, a little away from anyone else in the room. “What is this going to prove?”

“That I’m serious about how I feel. You asked me last week if…if Tucker came out to me, how would I feel? Well, I’m going to turn the table and come to him.”

“Carter, you’re being silly.”

“No, I’m serious,” Carter slid onto the bench across from him. “Okay, so maybe it’s a stupid summer-time crush, but what’s so wrong with that? If it comes to it, we can end it on a good terms. We can be friends afterwards.”

“Or you could just drop and we can continue to live our lives like normal,” Jack shrugged, taking the first bite of his hamburger. Ah, nirvana!

“No,” Carter shook his head. “It’s important to me that you know I’m being serious about my feelings.”

“Whatever,” Jack shrugged. “I’ll meet you at the admin before seven –but I still think you’re being dumb.”

“Dumb, but honest,” Carter smiled.

Carter was relieved to find that Tucker had gotten his frantic, secretly sent text message to be on Skype. Jack was a little bit late, but finally arrived just as Tucker was beginning to come into view.

“What’s going on?” Tucker looked confused. “I got this message that you needed to talk to me urgently about something. This had better not be a joke; I’ve got stuff to do.”

“It’s not a joke,” Carter explained. “I need to prove a point to someone. I believe you know Jack?”

“…Jack?” Tucker looked even more confused as Jack was pulled into the frame, perching on the edge of a chair. “Jack, I thought you were at drama camp?”

“I am at Drama camp.”

“…Carter?”

“Shut up, I enjoy technical production, okay. It’s very extensive summer camp –that’s not the point. I asked you here, so I could tell you something.”

Tucker waved him on, “Go ahead, I guess.”

“I have a crush on Jack, and he isn’t taking me seriously.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m bisexual.”

Tucker’s eyes narrowed, “Are you fucking around?”

“No, I’m serious. You’re the first person I’m telling because it’s important to me that you’re okay with this.”

“That’s not really the point. The point is, you act like such an asshole. And all of a sudden you’re a drama nerd and you like one of my GBFs?”

“Aw,” Jack’s face brightened, “I’m your gay best friend?!”

“Again, not the point.”

“Just tell him that I’m not an ass –I’m being honest here!”

“Jack,” Tucker shook his head, “I…I don’t know what to tell you. There’s obviously some kind of a story here that I’m not sure about. But, generally, he’s pretty honest.”

“Thanks,” Jack nodded. “But I agree, that’s not the issue here.”

“Are you guys like doing it now?” Tucker asked. “Because if you are, that makes me feel a whole hell of a lot less guilty about the recent Taylor events.”

“How is Taylor?” Jack asked.

“Fine,” he shrugged. “We miss you here.”

Jack sniffed with a smile, “I’m sure.”

“No, really –this whole thing is a mess and I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault that she broke her arm and decided she liked you better.”

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” Carter asked.

“Taylor…my girlfriend,” Tucker informed him.

“You might as well come clean, Tucker,” Jack encouraged. “He did for you, after all.”

“Oh jeez,” he sighed. “Carter, my girlfriend used to be a guy…well, is still sort of a guy.”

“Taylor Green is a dude?”

“Hey,” Jack smacked him in the chest. “Relax.”

“I am stupefied. I had no idea,” Carter shook his head. “So…what does that mean?”

“I’m gay,” Tucker announced, quite calmly and with no hesitation.

“R-really?” Carter asked. “Did he know this? Were you two setting me up for this?”

“No, of course not,” Jack crossed his arms. “I sent a letter to you guys today; with tickets for the show. I hope you’ll come; it’s going to be completely epic.”

“We wouldn’t miss it,” Tucker assured him. “I should go –I told Taylor I’d meet her at her house tonight.”

“Have fun,” Jack told him, surprised at how nonchalant he was about the whole thing. Maybe he had worried over nothing. “I’ll see you guys soon.”

“Can’t wait,” Tucker nodded. “Later –and don’t take too much crap from that guy, okay? Otherwise, I’ll just have to tell everyone his spent his summer in tights.”

“I’m a technical—goddamn it,” Tucker disconnected before Carter could get a last word in. “That asshole.”

“You’re one to talk,” Jack smirked.

“But you believe me now right, that I’m genuine about liking you?”

“Carter, that’s not the problem. The problem is that we’re two completely different people. Yeah, it’s cool that you told Tucker you’re bi, but is that real? Is that genuine? I’m gay. I’m happy being gay. I like boys and boys like me –there’s not a way around that. I don’t want to get even remotely serious with some guy who is going to spend more of their time covering for himself by staring at girl’s butts all day. I’ve got better things to do.”

“You’re one of those guys that doesn’t believe in bisexuality, aren’t you?”

“No, I totally believe in bisexuality. But I also believe in sluts and the desperate.”

“And which am I?” Carter asked, bemused.

“A little of both, I think,” Jack got up and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I just…I can’t do this with you right now; I have to focus on the production.”

“But Jack, this might be our last summer.”

Jack shrugged, “You snooze, you lose. I guess you should have manned up sooner, huh?”

And with that, he strode out of the main house, and back to the theater for rehearsal.

Samma-san Writes

NaNoWriMo 2011: M2F (Part Two)